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📼👹 submit a video for getting enneagram typed 👹📼 includes video commentary with light roasting with each video and maybe a little bit of big sister love + tips

❤️‍🔥 This typing will include enneagram core + wing, + fixes / tritype, + instinctual stacking. You receive my commentary over your typing video and a pdf with your results, goblin names / archetypes (alter ego + shadow type) + descriptions.

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Here are the new/updated typing questions (if you want to read them first).

✨ ❤️‍🔥 Single Enneagram Coaching Session (90 minutes)❤️‍🔥 ✨Half Price: $47 for the next 48 hours 🫢

One session to de-cringe your nervous system or lighten the grip you have around one particular personality / instinct issue. We zero in on ONE pattern or belief (I can find it if you're not sure what it is) that’s blocking you, creating resistance or you just feel downright terrible about. 🤗 I bring my Enneagram Somatic Mindset 7w6 Reframe Permission Slip Magic + 🫀 4w5 Depths of Your Psyche Mining + 9 Space-Holding + No Judgement Vibes to each session. 🧞‍♀️ I’ve been told by multiple people one session with me was more useful and powerful than doing months/years of therapy . 🧚‍♀️🪄😮‍💨 Click here to book (email me if you need a different day/time). Usually sessions are $97.

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We meet over zoom and I grill you, dice you then we converse on what I’ve noticed. Sometimes I like to rewatch the video and then solidify your typing after the call, sometimes I type you on the call. It’s a roll of the dice. ❤️‍🔥 This typing will include enneagram core + wing, + fixes / tritype, + instinctual stacking. You receive an optional video and a pdf with your results, goblin names / archetypes (alter ego + shadow type) + descriptions 2-7 days after our call.

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Larissa 💐👹

HPV Dracula rolled up one wet afternoon. Widow’s peak, dark hair, tall, nicotine-stained fingers, the aura of a drug dealer, a sinister sparkle in his eye. Instantly recognizable from my high school years. A Super Senior who sold weed behind the library, with an I’ll-ruin-your-life kind of look.

Hot.

Dressed much the same, but visibly carrying the financial burden of child support payments. Black and more black, in varying shades of distress and wear. Clothes hung off his hunched and lanky frame. Demeanour didn’t emit “fuck you to death in the back of my off-roader,” it was serving “I’ll frail-ly, palely let you ride me while I moan gratefully and make a lot of intense eye contact.”

But he has a glint. And a glint is worth something.

When H. Drac appeared from the mist at my lowly part-time barista job, the friction was immediate. The astral cock that makes itself known when you sense another freaky being in the wild. You notice these things when spending most of the day in a coffee shop having your soul enema’d out of you via the repetitive act of frothing oat milk, neurotic questions about ingredients and ingredient backstory, and various “I support small businesses with my measly $3, now give me applause for my good deed” performances.

Intriguing customers stand out.

Instant buzzing. Was he insanely attractive? No, but I could barely look at him because he had activated the sizzle field. He plugged in, without knowing it. His voltage, his kilowatts’ had activated mine.

“Uh,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “Do you make Americanos?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I get a big one?”

“Double or triple shot?”

“Sure, let’s do triple.”

Then the insecurity hit. As I attempted to nonchalantly grind espresso and get a 16 oz cup and not suffer some kind of dyspraxic catastrophe, knocking over things or spraying my face with hot water. I resembled a depressed, gender-confused teenager because I typically didn’t get out of bed until ten minutes before I had to leave for work and would end up scavenging an outfit from piles of clothes I’d left on various surfaces. Which was then followed by me breathlessly careening through town on my kickscooter, getting nice and ripe for my 8am shift (er, technically 8:05 most days). My uniform; baggy sweaters, messy unwashed topknot, mismatched socks rolled up over my jeans, walk-of-shame eyeliner (from putting it on in a rush, not post-cringe sex, although I was applying it shamefully).

H. Drac doesn’t know anything embarrassing about me, but the most important thing he doesn’t know (which I‘m not embarrassed about) is about my obsession with typology. That is sorting people into little boxes with little labels like specimens in a laboratory. Hairless rats I poke and prod with leading questions and amphibious-eyed observations. He’s being studied and mapped onto a symbol, he just doesn’t know it yet.

He also doesn’t know that I’m a tarot freak. It’s the first thing I’ll do when I get home. “Cards, tell me - will I regret it?”

“Of course you’ll regret it,” they’ll enlighten me.

That’s part of the appeal.

In the Enneagram (that’s typology, that’s personality type theory, that’s a way to categorize people by behaviors, fears and motivations) he has a high Sexual instinct, so he goes in the “fireworks person” column.

What does that mean? Well, it’s a hotly debated topic in many dank areas of the internet, and I can only tell you what I think it is. It means you’re tapped into the sizzle field, ok? It means you sense sexual attraction and are constantly engaging in chemistry experiments. You can consciously and unconsciously mist people with pheromones and sex bombs (that sometimes have unintended consequences when your aim is off). You smell it on others and it gives you a high (or makes you wretch, depending on the person). Does it mean you’re particularly sexy or good in bed (as the label might suggest)? No. But there’s a magnetism. An energy. A quality. It’s how the 50-year-old who looks like burnt meatloaf in a Hawaiian shirt manages to snag twenty-somethings regularly.

Are you picking up what I’m putting down?

If not, maybe you’re not meant to.

I was getting 6w5 from HD. That made him a “problem solver,” a “paranoid prepper,” a “researcher.” He cares about security and support. He has shifty rodent eyes and mumbled something about being a “good person.” (Ew.) This means, he goes in the “adapting to the Matrix” and “Superego” column. But because of said fireworks booster pack, he is not doing a great job of it. Having the fireworks instinct usually means you’re prone to derailing stability and security. It makes you act out of pocket, chasing that high.

He’s cagey. Definitely doesn’t have his shit together.

Game recognize game.

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I half-engaged, half-avoided HD’s intense, manic gaze as he ordered a double Americano and made innocuous but sublimated small talk. I wasn’t exactly sure what information was exchanged because I wasn’t paying attention to the words, really.

“Have a nice day,” I mumbled, carnally distressed.

He threw all his change (loonies and toonies) into the tip bucket as he left. Then looked over his shoulder, casually but intentionally.

He’d be back. The double-takers always come back.

“Hello Riss,” said a cheery, gentle familiar voice.

I panicked to make sure H Drac had left (he had), before glaring back at my next “customer.”

My mother.

And she wanted a cappuccino.

To stay.

“How much do I owe you?”

“Just take it,” I said, dismissively. The next hour of my standing around working myself up erotically was now completely ruined.

“You make the best cappuccinos,” she said, making her way to the sugar packets.

“No, I don’t,” I muttered.

Being competent at foaming milk or some other menial horror is not a compliment, but people with 6 and Self-Preservation in their type don’t grasp that. I get a lot of “you make my lattés just the way I like it”s which is intended as flattery (or creepy, controlling behavior tbh), but I feel deeply disgusted by it.

But you wouldn’t get it if you don’t get the Enneagram.

My mother is a 2w3, a 269 to be exact. Which is both a blessing and a curse to someone like me, who is double-withdrawn (4, 9), irresponsible (my entire tritype - 749) and Self-Preservation last (completely fucking useless in all practical matters). Our dynamic is codependent, sickening and made of the same stardust that created such haunting masterpieces as Grey Gardens and The Beales of Grey Gardens.

Anyway, I hadn’t been laid in a while. My options were limited and I have standards (or like to pretend I do). Learning the mystical art of profiling people, I can heartlessly drag and drop people in the “thank u, next” bin. Not because there’s anything wrong with them, but because they’re archetypally unfit for me to have sexual relations with. The Enneagram makes navigating sex and romance a lot easier, but also means I never date.

I’ve never dated a Sexual (possibly sx/sp) 6w5, though. A dangerous malnourished bat.

A perfect match.

In theory.

I didn’t even know if he’d come back. I just felt like he would.

Then he did.

A few days later.

He lingered longer the second time. Building up to something. Asking me more questions. Pretending not to recognize me from high school (maybe he didn’t, but I suspected he’d already done reconnaissance due to Enneagram type). He told me he was single, but he wasn’t single because he was a bad person. (Like I cared.)

Another double Americano. This time he threw a five in the bucket. One point for not being cheap, and also not being Self-Preservation dominant. Self-Pres 6w5’s are a whole different beast.

He worked in the kitchen at a restaurant. Cutting onions. Frying beef slivers in reused oil. Probably still a drug dealer, although that was purely speculation. Because my romantic vision includes artistry, mutual museshipping, intellectual breakthroughs, the romance of icons and cinematic tragic masterpieces, I knew I wouldn’t be getting that experience from a line cook in The Middle of Nowhere. But I was thinking maybe I could slap it around for a couple months and hope I didn’t catch anything from a guy who looks like he definitely has something.

Would he be like the Self-Preservation 9’s who longingly gaze at me making their order and weakly brushing my hand with theirs for months on end hoping I’ll make the first move? No. He’s a reactive type. The anxiety, uncertainty and need to secure the bag will drive him to take action. I was sure of it.

I spent most of the day fantasizing while trying to keep one foot on the conveyer belt of minimum wage tedium. Did some low-effort detective work on my phone, trying to determine if he’d been in jail (not that I really cared - but yes, he had, according to my coworker) or what the exes I could dredge up on social media might reveal about his taste (this I did care about but I didn’t get very far).

I didn’t stalk long because he traipsed back in an hour later, jacket hanging off a shoulder and a purple bouquet.

He told me I made him feel “alive.” Finally, a real compliment.

Despite the flowers being from the grocery store, I felt seen by his choice of purple. He had recognized my vibe. Sure, they were kinda wilted and shit, but purple is my favourite colour. Purple is mysterious. Maybe we had a stronger connection than I’d anticipated.

He asked me out for the next night, which was Saturday.

I casually said, “Sure.” I rarely had plans, although I often pretended to. What’s the worst that could happen?

Then I got home.

Did I mention I live with my parents?

And as I liberated the flowers (carnations or something) from their plastic prison, I noticed the emblems that read: International Women’s Day.

“Oh.”

I looked it up. It was, indeed, International Women’s Day. A week ago. Hence, the wilting. And its signature colour was purple.

Oh, how desperate I was for romance that I’d convinced myself some random, horny line cook understood me like that. How awful. I convinced myself that I would, at least, have a fun-adjacent experience. And, mercifully get away from my parents (really important for a grown woman living in her family’s basement) and maybe get white girl wasted (also a priority).

It was a terrible embarrassment to be picked up at my parent’s house like a teenager going on a first date. I was wearing a maroon corduroy mini skirt with AliExpress tights. The plan was dinner and drinks. That sounded fine to me. Whatever. I just wanted to build some tension and then get my pay-off.

Of course, it loomed in the back of my mind that if I went back to his place my parents would know I got laid. I would have to text my mom to let her know I wasn’t coming home. Which repulsed me. But I was already constructing a reality in which he rescued me from my parent’s basement. And while I did not see myself staying with him forever, it would create the perfect springboard for my next chapter. A blue collar Lana del Rey Spring/Summer, followed by a chaotic, maybe bisexual, Miley Cyrus Fall/Winter, far far away from here. If I could swing it.

Our plans shifted on a dime once I was in the truck, to dinner with six other people for a birthday gathering or something. We had to go to a neighboring town. I wasn’t impressed, but whatever.

In the truck he talked animatedly about his adult daughter, family, friends, his job and some other stuff I wasn’t really interested in. I guess to some people this is appealing. I was more drawn in by the romantic sketchbag persona than the struggling family man one. It was like going from a steamy 90s film to a made-for-TV movie.

I’ll spare you whatever happened at dinner, as it wasn’t noteworthy, other than him regailing me with a story about how he pursued, or rather stalked, another local woman that I knew. This offended me. He stalked her? Showed up at her work multiple times? HER? And she rejected him?

To anyone who is not me I can see how judging another person for being un-stalkworthy is possibly delusional given my life situation, but nevertheless, the comparison was shocking and ego-crushing. I won’t go into the gory details as I’m aware I’ve likely already milked about as much insufferability tolerance as I can out of whoever is reading this, and I still have more to go.

He seemed to find my disgusted reaction entertaining, but I was finding everything about this less and less entertaining. Know your audience. Learn the Enneagram.

I was three wines deep and letting the night play out however it wanted to, because I really didn’t care at this point. We had a twenty minute drive back to town and this was when he revealed the I would not be getting my Summertime Sadness in whatever rundown house he lived in.

Because he lived with his mother.

He didn’t couch it in some self-indulgent, misunderstood artist narrative like I did about how I moved home to focus on my obsessions and creative projects. His was wrapped up in an “I’m taking care of her” narrative. But of course, I knew better. That had been one of the lines I had thought of using about my situation, which wouldn’t be believable to anyone who’s known me for more than fifteen minutes. Ah yes, the noble and caring Larissa, taking care of the elderly.

It was his house, but it was actually her house. He also lived in the basement. I suppose it’s true what they say in manifestation: Like attracts like. An ex-junkie but still has issues, hooked on an oxygen tank, hanging on for life but also wants to die.

This was not at all the future I had envisioned for myself.

He was the only one who could care for her. She needed him. No one else in the family would speak to her. She was self-absorbed, abusive, melodramatic, miserable and hedonistic. His narrative about himself and his narrative about her was eerily familiar to me. A foreboding on the edges of my inebriated consciousness. A dynamic I was well-versed in, but didn’t want to vocalize.

The more he talked about her, the more anxiety I got. I wanted to continue the date just so I could continue drinking.

We returned to town and went to the only bar open, even though it was still kind of early. The place was packed. Humid. Yeasty. It was Saint Patrick’s Day or something, and there was a karaoke night. I love doing karaoke, but I wasn’t prepared for the audience. Not for my singing but for my date. This audience included chicks we also had gone to school with, some of which I was pretty sure he had “dated.” There were vibes, smirks, side-glances.

People would talk about this.

This would become a thing.

Yes, I would like a beer and a shot of whisky. Thanks.

He didn’t sing anything, and dipped when I took the “stage” (corner of the moist, enclosed deck) with one of my too-long-for-karaoke favs, Possum Kingdom by The Toadies. I’m a terrible singer (I’m not being humble) and the karaoke machine “cut out” part way through my epic aria. “Tech issues” were not an uncommon event for me. I’ve been cut off and kicked out of many bars and legions for my karaoke performances. Whatever. Still better than their renditions of Boot Scootin’ Boogie and Before He Cheats.

The apprehension of living in a fishbowl where everyone knows everything (further intensifying the encroaching engulfment I already felt) wouldn’t fully hit until the next day when I was deeply hungover at work. A cop (guess his tritype) would attempt to intimidate me by staring unblinkingly as I made his lattes, because he’d clocked that I went on a date with a known drvg dealer.

But in this moment, I was coming to the end of the date. And then he drove me to “his” house to show me where he lived. We idled in the driveway.

“You’ll have to meet her before you come over.”

“I honestly don’t want to,” I said.

He laughed, as if I was joking. This was the final straw. I had no interest in any of this. Meet his mother.

“For dinner,” he said.

This all sounded quite terrible. I wanted to jump out of the truck and run screaming into the night. An overreaction, possibly. But with every passing moment the horror of his heart fix unfurled like a giant, engorged facehugger that had been hiding in the backseat this whole time.

My haphazardly, quickly constructed fantasy was collapsing under facts and data. There was only room for one fuck-up in any given relationship. Two fuck-ups could work if the fuck-upping was hot. It wasn’t hot - for either of us. Hot fuck-ups included crazy exes, stalkers, obsession. Ours included overly enmeshed parental dynamics, townie lore and joe jobs. HD was not going to be my Knight of Cups, rescuing me from my pit of despair. In fact, I was quite sure he was going to make it worse. Not intentionally, mind you. People rarely do it intentionally.

On the drive between his mother’s house and my mother’s house (fucking just drive off the road with us both in it and let’s call it a no-budget Thelma & Louise sequel), he made a special point of emphasizing that he was a “giver” in bed and I’m “you oriented in bed,” he said.

I had a pre-PTSD flashforward imagining him crawling up my thighs like Bob from Twin Peaks, salivating, wagging his tongue. “Did you cum? I just want to please you.” The Two-y-ness was unignorable. While I was sure he wasn’t a core 2 (I would’ve never gone on a date if he was), I was quite certain that he was the same tritype as my mother (and brother), just a different stacking and order. It was unnatural. It was profane. Taboo. And not in a hot way.

A cortisol, dread, despair cocktail washed over me as we closed in on our destination. I was practically hysterical. I had to get away from these people!

But I was horny and desperate! I wanted to get fucking laid. I was CONFUSED. I WAS DRUNK. I was SO SO SO FUCKING DRUNK. (Loved that for me).

So ask me why I did what I did, because the only answer I have is that the combination of many wines, beers and shots of whisky along with the emotional spike and derangement I felt in the moment possessed me to go in for a kiss right before I got out of his truck.

I was pretty sure I didn’t want to see him again, but maybe I would change my mind the next day. I often flip-flopped. I often hated making a clean decision in the moment when I felt pressure (thanks 9 fix). I had a lot of bubbling pent-up sexual frustration and I felt low-key guilty since he’d paid for the whole night on a basement-dweller budget. So I went for it.

It wasn’t romantic, coy or seductive. I essentially tried to… well, suck his tongue out of his head. The energy with which I attacked his face wasn’t warranted. And I imagine, possibly shocking. But I suppose in that moment a part of me wanted to just die, and maybe if I sucked hard enough my fucking brain would explode in a spiderweb of aneuryisms.

He just looked at me smiling.

“K, bye!” Then I fled.

This is why I never go on dates with anyone I’m not semi-confident I want to have sex with. Because I panic. My processor overloads. I do something insane or make something up. Or start crying. Yes, I’ve cried on several dates (including one where the guy ran into traffic to escape me). I’ve cried during first date sex. Whatever.

The living room lights were still on and my parents were no doubt aware of my presence, watching some mainstream pile of shit cranked up to ear-wax melting decibels.

As I re-entered rural-suburban Hell with the shame of archetypal incest on my lips, I felt completely trapped. Like a sane woman who had escaped a lunatic asylum and gotten picked up on the side of a road by an orderly who was taking me back. I could’ve broken free but made it worse. I had a glimpse of hope, and the loss of that hope felt worse than had I never tasted it.

Or sucked it.

I quickly announced that I was drunk and tired, grabbed my confused little dog and hurled myself onto my bed in the basement dramatically, sobbing. The experience had touched a new kind of terror in my psyche. The room spinning, I reflected on every moment I could recall, a tapestry of ghoulish delights.

Of course, none of this was his fault.

My knowledge was.

The prism with which I viewed the world. And the more I thought about it, the worse it became.

HD’s mother, while not my type twin, I could tell had 4 in her tritype. Maybe 7. She sounded dreadful. A cosmologically rotten maternal tryst trying to take form through its children, as if the mommy theme wasn’t already grotesque as it was. A new incarnation of Hellraiser trying to write itself into the reality of this middling little town, which I’ve always felt had a dark, low-vibrational energy to it. VC Andrews could never.

I contemplated saging my pussy and gargling Holy Water (which I assumed you could make by praying over a cup?) but instead I passed out, mascara adhering to cheap polycotton pillowcases.

Did knowing the Enneagram curse this possibly beautiful romance? No. It gives me a symbolic map to avoid future abominations. It gives solidity and label to something I would’ve been disturbed by on an unconscious level but may not have quite known how to articulate to myself. Something demonic on the edges of my awareness, dancing and laughing as I clutched my sweat-drenched comforter at 4am after a formless nightmare. The prolongation of an inevitably doomed romance, making both parties’ lives much worse in the process.

This is the price you pay for insight and knowledge, and the gift you receive in return.

For the uninitiated, your “archetype” is created by your type in each center. So, you have a core type (example: You’re a 7 - so you’re a “head type”) but you actually have a secondary and tertiary type in the other centers (so maybe your “heart type” is 4 and your “gut type” is 9), this would mean your “archetype is the combination of those numbers (479). You’re still a core 7, but your archetype (479) fills in more details about your essence and motivations in the other centers. As most people relate more to other aspects of their type than their actual main type, this helps explain away some of that (although a lot of it is also self-delusion, haha).

These nicknames were written by me (Larissa) and not part of previous collective Goblin efforts. Some of them slap, some less so. Deal with it. It’s true, none of these are particularly flattering but this is just how my creative mind operates.

I personally find the archetypes more useful in typing and for self work, and find them to be more noticeable out in the wild than core types because some of them have such distinct vibrations. I think each archetype represents a kind of energy in history and mythology as well. Those topics are not of particular interest to me, having said that.

I’ve been asked for my nicknames many times, and if you’ve been typed by me you already know a bunch of them.

Organized by heart center, because this is the “image” center and so perhaps is more outwardly obvious.

If you want to get an official typing with me (and a special pdf with your archetype), you can do that right here (there are live and introvert options).

Archetypes with 2 🍯

• 125 Strange Rays, Virtue Signal, Artificial Insemination

• 126 Purity Ring, Mr. Clean

• 127 Manic Sweet Preacher

• 258 Motherboard, Meat Locker, Cream Your Genes, Gorilla Grip, Greasy Strangler

• 259 Slimewire, Patchouli Goth, Uncanny Valley Girl, Soylent Dream, Wet Cemetery

• 268 Hamburger Helper, Tainted Love, Mobile Home, Teddy Scare, Sweet Justice

• 269 Mermaiden, Captive Audience, Chronic Master-Baiter, Calgon Breeze, Damsel in Distress(ed Apron), Slave 4 U

• 278 Octomom, Toxojazzmosis

• 279 Supergroupie, Sugar Coma, Mother Nature, White Girl Dreads, Stepford Fairy, Daisy Unchained

Archetypes with 3 ⭐

• 135 Psyclops, Brain Freeze, Spinal Boss, Blandjob, CTL ALT DELETE

• 136 CIA (Clean & Irritated, Actually), Tighty Whitey, Dry Roast, Sandy Handy, School of Proct

• 137 Holy Roller, Bar Nun, High & Mighty, Top Not

• 358 DJ Eugenixx, World War Me, Dry Entry, Wargasm, Jumbotron

• 359 Smooth Operator, TAP3 W0RM, Microsoftboi, Numbing Agent, Carbon Copy, Dead Ringer, Inhuman Centipede

• 368 Beast Mode, Bazooka Joe, Demolition Man, The Bone Zone, Blockbuster, Bad Lieutenant, Instrument of Destruction, Honkey Kong

• 369 Changeling, Shapeshifter, The Glass Slipper, Pod Squad, Counter-Fit Check

• 378 Mister Universe / Miss World, Glampire, Fan Favourite, Nero Worship, Apex Shredator, Hollywood Babylon

• 379 Faun Star, Hustler Baby, Party Monster, Pixie Grifter, Vagaboned, Dime Bag, Pipe Dream, Party Ghoul, Serf’s Up

Archetypes with 4 🥀

• 145 Holy Hell, Hack Widow, Manifesto Destiny, Special Deaducation

• 146 Spite Privilege, Scab Doily, Crystal Castle, Satanic Panic, Whine Spritzer

• 147 Sphincterella, Death Disco Daddy, Prince Harming, Pope of Trash

• 458 Evil Dead, Paranoid Android

• 459 Blahphomet, Cradle of Filth, Gut Rot, Whinecologist, Gut Rot, Watcher in the Woods, Camera Obscura, Illegal Snailien

• 468 Hate Couture, Hexual Personae, Dread & Circuses, Wiccan Pox, Kornography, Full Metal Straight Jacket, Manufactured Crisis, Big Drag

• 469 Sad Sack, Chronic Fatigue, Pain Piggy, Fungus Amongus, Trash Panda, Hate Mail, Phantom of the Mopera, Bad Romance

• 478 Dante’s Disco Inferno, Hair Metal Shaman, Miss Demeanor, Cannonball Ferox, Mean Streak, Lucifer Rising

• 479 Mellow Drama, Secret Arcade, Fairy Tail, Rainbow Fright, Rainbow in the Dark, Necrodancer, Manic Pixie Nightmare Girl, Black Hole Sun, Enfant Terrible

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Enneagram Type 4’s have been described elsewhere as sufferers, martyrs, romanticists - and while all of these can be true, they’re not exactly true. Because such labels are missing one main piece - it’s all about them. They’re not the long-suffering lover who weeps themselves to sleep at night while they’re cheated on or ignored - they’re vicious, hysterical, vindictive little creatures and it will span not only their creative expression but their lived expression.

Withdrawal is a performance art, not a dissociative event. It’s not merely lying on a pile of pillows lamenting, it’s rewriting the narrative in every moment to fit their tragic little tale in which they are the main character who never gets what they want as they toil towards ruination and reinvention over and over again (this is their Ego’s goal, btw).

4’s don’t find beauty in the windswept petal because #natureispoetry, it’s because they see themselves reflected in the petal - a beautiful flower torn apart by the violence of an envious world. And you related to this? Disgusting. They step on the petal and move on with their day with their nose in the air. You can have the crushed petal, because it’s worthless to them now. Ptooey.

While many types relate to the notion of “feeling misunderstood” - they don’t like it. 4’s get off on it. You don’t understand them because you can’t. You’re not like them. You’re a tiny-headed and hearted, untalented plebian. Your suffering is not as cinematic, your longing is not as long, your yearning has not been sufficiently yearned. Whether this is true or not, is besides the point. This is how each type’s ego mechanism operates. And by virtue of how 4’s operates, you’re excluded from the experience, dear reader.

🪤♾️Type Trap / Repeating Loop

4’s overfixate on separateness and being some kind of anomalous, gorgeous misunderstood freak of nature which prevents them from feeling truly separate, because our type seeks to keep generating this exact loop over and over and over. By chasing this indilutable “me-ness” they are overly sensitive to anything that is diluting, keeping them in a perpetual state of agony (on some level).

4’s believe they have to be separate, misunderstood, deep, tragically different and unique in order to exist. Therefore the opposite is “not me” which creates repulsion. 4’s fear of being shallow, functional (like a regular person), relatable or common causes them to overdo self-sabotage, dissatisfaction, alienation, hostility and backing themselves into a corner, which inevitably causes them to have to settle for an ordinary, sub-par existence. This pattern is not conscious to 4’s, for the most part.

If they’re a rare 4 who manages to break free of the tortured artist at some agonizing Joe Job routine, they’ll find new Hells to irritate their thin skin within this realm of “success.” Example being Morrissey, who despite his best efforts to essentially set fire to his career and alienate and disappoint his fans over and over, many are loyal to his brand of theatrical pretension.

4’s need to constantly churn themselves in more particular, off-putting, inimitable ways or to continue to push away from the shallow end where they’re more easily findable and connectible. They’re not trying to stay ahead of the trends, they’re staying away from self-dilution.

🩸 Core Wound

“If I’m not special, I’m nothing. If I’m not different than everyone else, I’m worthless, erasable and replaceable.”

This wound shows up as constant self-curation and reinvention in more particular, often off-putting and unmarketable ways. Not to stay ahead of trends, but to stay away from the horror of being generic. The shallow end is where basic people splash; they’d rather drown in the deep end than float up there with everyone else.

They don’t fear being misunderstood or different like many other types do, they metabolize it like an alcoholic metabolizes wine. Relatability = sameness, sameness = replaceable, replaceable = erased.

They don’t just feel uniquely gifted; they feel uniquely broken. Everyone else seems to have gotten the manual on how to be a functional member of society, satisfied with whatever. And their inability to adjust to ‘normal life’ is further evidence (to themselves) of their own depth and significance. Their outsiderness becomes introjected as what makes them special. This is not a “me against them” emo punk cutting to Tumblr metal 6 mentality, it’s an “I am completely alone on this fainting couch” mentality, and they’re ready for their close-up.

🎁 Innate Gifts

I like to edge away from overly focusing on the “positives” of types because it helps weed out people who are just looking for an ego boost versus people who are seeking to see themselves and their patterns clearly and dig into the actual meat of this ‘system.’ But, I think what 4’s bring to the world, is that they’re able to watch themselves decompose in the mirror and somehow make it artistic and compelling. Through their ability to create heightened emotional states on the fly, they’re also able to snap people out of their fogs and jolt them into a new romantic, tragic, aestheticized rock bottom timeline. Showing them the beauty of horror and the horror of beauty. They help others to transmute their shame into a bracelet they can proudly wear, and also reflect the message back to others that being overly individualistic, while often off-putting, creates new possibilities that disrupt the status quo. Make a hideous appreciation card for your local miserable record store clerk poet failchild today. 🥀

🥴 On Frequent Mistypes

4’s aren’t sad (that’s 6 and 9), 4’s are superior, and they hold onto that title through appearing sad. To get to their decrepit little throne made of bone-to-picks, you’ll have to cross land mines and eggshells. And if you’re allowed behind the velvet curtain (however dusty or dreary), they’re unlikely to let you stay unless you’re somehow amplifying their self-important narrative with your contributions (be it that you reflect them well, they find you particularly special or intriguing, are some kind of muse or are giving them constantly regenerating hate fuel).

✨ 4’s aren’t special, they consider themselves the special exception. ✨

Many types (especially 6 and 9) identify with the notion of wanting to feel “special” but underneath it is the desire to be included and belong. 4’s do not “want to feel special” or be “seen as special” - they view themselves as uniquely superior and the special exception. While they may not confess this in casual conversation, it’s obvious in how they conduct themselves. While 9’s wish to feel special (moreso with a 4 fix), they aren’t going to go out of their way in a theatrical fashion to make everyone else’s life hell to accommodate their “specialness.” And while 6’s can also like to feel special, it’s more about “we’re special” girl gang outsider ethos and creating a web around them that support their viewpoint. Even if a 4 is useless and parasitic in their relationships, their Ego operates on being so singular no one could possibly replace, compare or truly support them.

9’s who “seem like” 4’s are romanticizing bedrot and inertia, truly “withdrawn,” (they either wish to re-find their center, recharge, maybe they want you to come find them after… for 4 withdrawal is an act of violence, repulsion or total lack of interest in you).

9-4’s generate ever-churning sadness and disempowered hopelessness as a baseline; futility, whining and grumpy because they wish to be “comfortable” in their collapsed misery (especially if they’re the 964/694 archetype).

9w1’s are often “poetic” + “aesthetic” in their 4 fix channelings because they’re doing some kind of baby bows in hair, religious iconography, melting candelabra, Greek statues, dusty philosophy books, diary entry thing.

6’s who “seem like” 4’s romanticize the blue collar/psych ward welfare queen/edgy bartender outsider aesthetic, part of the matrix but making it drip with Weezer-chart topper whining. 6’s are more “reactive” in a way that causes interpersonal drama than core 4’s because of 6’s tend to self-victimize in a way that attracts rescuers and requires a team or intervention. Whereas 4 reactivity is pointed inwards and is more about a self-narrative than an actual fear spin-out. 4’s will have a meltdown just to have a meltdown. It’s part of their art form.

Furthermore, the heart space still wants to be separate/unique potentially to the point of ostracization but 6 cores will be spinning the narrative through the lens of feeling victimized, persecuted, bullied, against some “bad man” and they want your help with this problem or for you to validate their feelings. And if you are not for them, you’re against them.

4’s don’t care if you catch the show or not, the show will go on with or without your eyes. A 4 may feel exploited or victimized but it’s part of their ego’s thematic self-portrait and it’s about what it says about them as a main character. Your assistance or participation is not invited unless they’ve decided you could have a poignant role in their narrative (which will be largely mood-dependent and subject to change on a whim).

4’s are image types aka “identity” types, meaning they exist as main characters and you are all embellishments and props in the play they’re living. Your role is to reinforce their ego as different (but in a way that is significant). They’re a special exception (all image types are) and will unconsciously seek to reinforce that by centering themselves as singular - which is likely to be wildly unappealing to the proletariat - which they secretly delight in.

And, I don’t mean Insane Clown Posse “unappealing,” I mean like wildly narcissistic, self-absorbed, tragic character they are actively living. And they don’t feel bad about it. It’s not a simplistic bedrot fantasy peppered with instagram poems every 3 weeks. They think it’s an insult to fit in, be palatable, relatable - because it means they are like you - which is worse than death. It erases them. It fills them with slime-drenched, hair-ripping shame to be some kind of average creature or be confused for one. I hope I’m really driving it home to the 6’s and 9’s who still think they’re 4’s. This is what a 4 is like. No exceptions.

What about their friends, lovers, etc? That person is likely a rare talent, beauty, intriguing, a diamond in the rough to them. Or maybe they’re serving to bring their creative vision (real or imagined) to life. The 4 is special, and if they like you (for now), that also makes you special. And you will feel that. You serve as an intriguing reflection of themselves in a puddle. They may curiously dip their finger inside but they are still gazing at their own reflection.

Does this mean that 4’s are vicious porcupines shooting poisoned quills at everyone 24/7? No. But they’re self-obsessed and everything feeds the self. 4’s are not “merging” or “connecting” in a way that cedes identity. They may temporarily rally and compromise in order to hook (sexual or peer) or lock down someone they feel an otherworldly desire for but it’s often temporary or mood-driven. They can churn little heart trinkets and kind verbalizations for those that they care about, but this is a special gift they are handing you and it doesn’t grant you eternal access to compliments. Take your scrap and cherish it.

They’re casting you as a character in their life play. If you’re their one and only (Heaven help you) you have been cast as the role of muse, the vampire’s delightful supply bag, a source of suffering material and tragic romance that serves to intensify their experience as The Special One. Close friend? Same thing. But they’re always the main character. And you should be honoured you were invited to the stage or as an audience member.

Of course, none of this is to say that you’re an average creature (whoever is reading this), but this is what the 4’s Ego is constructing whether they’re aware of it or not. And I’m really trying to let you in on what’s going on behind the curtains so you can soak in the constant narcissistic drip of ick for those who still idealize this type.

Further…

Heart types are by nature “social” because they are “image” types which requires a gaze of some kind (even if they refuse to acknowledge it). All Self-Preservation dominants can have a creepy relationship with objects, body, environment, resources in which the “thing” means something more than the “thing” and reflects something about themselves.

However, a self-preservation 4 will run the me-me-me program not “look at these tchotchkes on my shelf I collected from various travel adventures, I am therefore unique.” Their performance will bleed into, infect, transform and dictate their environment, not vice versa. A minefield of trapdoors, poisoned implements, symbols, objects to feed creation - an act of self-worship. Turning their lair into a temple of Me. The environment is used as set dec and a backdrop for their theatrics, creative efforts and obsessions. This is where they scream into the mirror at their own reflection, roil in paintings of exes and never-was’s. They’re harder to reach than Social or Sexual 4’s, but not because they’re happily, calmly puttering about their space tinkering with yarn art like a 9, or engaging in endless health crises and compulsive Morgellons-picking like a 6. Their environment, body, physical world and wellbeing will be an endless source of dramatization and reactive, frustrated horrors which feed a narrative of how fragile they are and how terrible everything is.

I’m quite sure this still won’t clear things up for people, so this is where true presence of self is required. Observe your autopilot responses. Don’t larp or search for evidence you’re actually a 4. Just notice. What are the inner dialogues and immediate actions you engage in?

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This is something I posted on Instagram a while ago, so I’ve repurposed it as an article. This isn’t really “beginner friendly” but if you’re new to the Enneagram it might give you some insight on someone else’s (or your own) type. Some of these might feel reductive, negativistic or melodramatic, but this is how you actually make it clear what the types are doing. If you want your glowy, happy Kibbe type this isn’t the right page for you.

I'm utilizing the triads (specifically Attachment, Frustration and Rejection) to demonstrate patterns of behaviour I've noticed across these types, which also reveal more about the underlying structure of the Enneagram types and how they operate.

ATTACHMENT TRIAD (3, 6, 9): Entitlement to Your Support 🦀 🪺 🥰

Attachment types crowdsource internal values, metrics, beliefs, needs, support and outcomes. Or, another way to put it, is a sense of entitlement 🫢 to getting their needs met via others because they’re following established norms/wins and living up to specific requirements. If I do ‘X’ then I’m entitled to ‘Y.’

• 3’s are image (You Reflecting Me) heart (self significance), (under)feeling types

• 6’s are fear (Us vs Them) head, (over)thinking types

• 9’s are autonomy/instinct (We) gut, (under)doing types

Entitlement shows up through “outsourcing.” As in, this is a team effort (even if they’re the one on top), and they’re entitled to the rewards of following steps that are alleged to promise such rewards. (Ex: I get my Degree and do an unpaid internship therefore I am guaranteed a job.)

3’s “outsource” worth/feeling/value via gaze (audience), achievement, metrics.

6’s “outsource” thinking/fear/security via (or against) “authority,” “tribe” consensus and collaboration.

9’s “outsource” doing/autonomy/specificity of self via hitching their wagon to someone else’s ride or going along with vibes.

Further…

3’s feel entitled to your positive gaze, recognition and the rewards that come with deadening their heart and transforming into the ideal. They sacrificed authenticity and vulnerability at the altar of value and “success.”

You will pay homage, bow to their superiority and give them what they desire, peasant. And if you refuse, you will come to regret it. *insert ominous cut throat squeaks*

6’s feel entitled to your loyalty, dependability, security, certainty and whatever expertise you have. You must deliver for the team, for the crabs in the bucket. If you rise, you must take them. If they fall you must catch them. They sacrificed self-trust and “selfishness” at the altar of security and loyalty. You’ll make me feel safe and supported or I’ll call you out as the “bad” or “incorrect” person/belief/side/rival.

9’s feel entitled to your preferences, life force engine, map you’re following, and the specific fantasy they believe you offer (once they’ve decided this is the vibe for them). They sacrificed boundaries, their needs and preferences at the altar of calm, vibes, harmony and being your fav passenger. Your life support system must also keep me alive, psychically intuit my needs and be smooth and frictionless or else (insert cat meme).

FRUSTRATION TRIAD (1, 4, 7): Entitlement to The “Ideal” 🩸 🗡️🪽

Frustration type “entitlement” manifests as the core belief that they deserve to experience their “Ideal” reality and they refuse to settle for less. They indirectly or directly create situations in which they get what they want by refusing to settle, compromise or keep quiet about their dissatisfaction. And if the outer world doesn’t bend to their will, they disavow, judge and/or discard it for something (or someone) more “ideal.”

• 4’s are image (Me, Myself & My Muse) heart (self significance), (dramatized)feeling types

• 7’s are fear (I am a Mouth & I Must Scream) head, (skibidi)thinking types

• 1’s are autonomy/instinct (Holy I) gut, (perfectly)doing types

Entitlement = feeling like you “deserve” something, and I see this framing applying more to Frustration types because they have a lofty and individualistic way of operating.

4’s “deserve” their ideal via self-appointed exceptionalism, separation + refusal to compromise their self, vision or fantasy.

7’s “deserve” their ideal via disregarding others/limitations + lock-picking access in their quest for the juiciest options and grandest experiences.

1’s “deserve” their ideal via inflicting rules, perfectionism, and their holy standards of quality, ethics + integrity.

Further…

4’s feel entitled to be treated as if they’re the most precious, unique + special little monster to ever walk the earth. They sacrificed belonging, fitting in (*cough* mediocrity), being understood, liked or happy at the altar of being significant, original and deeply meaningful. They will not be treated like a lowly plebeian piglet, or you will feel the sting of a white-gloved slap (covered in a strange stank if they’re a 4w5).

7’s feel entitled to live deliciously + deliriously. They sacrificed calm, consistency, stability and the rewards of commitment + discipline at the altar of novelty, fun, innovation and zero responsibilities, burdens or boredoms. They either get what they want, or what they want wasn’t so juicy after all. They won’t waste any time moving onto the next grand adventure or scheme. That’s so yawn--

1’s feel entitled to orderly, polite perfection that abides by their standards and regulations. They sacrificed satiating base impulses + the joys of being a messy b*tch at the altar of integrity, perfection and pretending to be God. You’ll live up to these standards or feel the holy fire of criticism, penetrative frown line frequency rayguns and ruler-slaps (spankings if you’re nasty).

REJECTION TRIAD (2, 5, 8): Entitlement to Submission ⛓️ 📦 🔐

Rejection type “entitlement” manifests as conditional access, in which specific requirements must be met in order to fully engage. This is done to avoid feeling vulnerable, but it enslaves others in a subservient or dependent role to the 2, 5 or 8.

They control connection to maintain power, dominion and being impossible to “reject.” The other person “submits” if they are to “meet” the 2, 5, 8, giving up an element of their autonomy or accepting a dependent or subordinate role.

• 2’s are image/shame (Me through You) heart (power bottom), (invasive species)feeling types

• 5’s are fear (Hellraiser cube) head, (sphincter to colon)thinking types

• 8’s are autonomy/instinct (I’m the Captain Now), gut, (demolition)doing types

2’s are entitled to submission via relentless maternal meddling and tentacles that flatter, pet, gift and “help” until you’re swaddled helplessly, reflecting their care back to them with your grateful suckling baby face.

5’s are entitled to submission via limited ports of connection. You’re reduced to your useful function and how optimally you slot into the spreadsheet. No entry shall be granted that the 5 doesn’t control.

8’s are entitled to submission via inflicting an energetic demolition crew wherein they’re always on top and you’re a minion devotee kissing their ring with reverence on your lips and fear in your poor heart.

Further…

2’s feel entitled to being the most appreciated, nurturing, necessary honey-covered mother Mary in your universe. They sacrificed their needs and nipples at the altar of you. They will not be denied credit for everything good in your life or unfettered access to you, their juicy heart IV bag. Thinking of running? Say goodbye to your kneecaps. Want a nice wife away from mother? She’ll peer at you through your window while you make love, haunt your dreams with guilt trips, orchestrate the destruction of your marriage while feeding you buttery muffins.

5’s feel entitled to existing 100% on their terms, without your interference, grotesque blubbering hysterics or having to participate in the pyramid scheme of humanity. They sacrificed nothing useful at the altar of optimization, dependence necrosis and tin shed mold bytes hot wire head obsessive dweller-maxxing. They will not be forced to interact on your terms, or entangled in your agendas and schemes you wicked vile creatures forged of eldritch tapeworm placenta biofilm.

8’s feel entitled to your unwavering fealty + compliance in their various schemes + acquisitions. They sacrificed their ooey gooey stompable center at the altar of a King Kong glow-up + becoming protector + ruler over whatever constitutes their “kingdom.” They won’t be challenged, out-maneuvered, disrespected or overthrown. Now get back on your leash, dog or you’re getting thrown out of a moving car to fend for yourself.

Prefer this kind of content on video? I’ll be recording the video version soon, check out youtube.

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Watch a more riffy, rambly breakdown here:

Each type unconsciously directs or responds in conversations through the filter of their personality mechanisms. Here’s how to spot someone’s type fixation.

Type 1 🕯️ 🧹 The Grim Sweeper 🧼 📏

They steer conversations toward: What’s correct/working and what’s not. What can be improved/fixed/made more efficient or “right” and how to do it. Unlike a 6, this isn’t about getting everyone on the same page for security reasons or pointing out the “bad man” as a threat to the community/tribe-oriented goal, it’s about teaching you the correct way to do or be something. (example: Jordan Peterson’s infamous “Make your bed” saying). They often use precise, carefully chosen words. 1’s don’t trail off in thought or bombard with chaotic or mental energy. Nothing feels sloppy. They can come across like they’re speaking at a funeral or delivering their words grimly to a pulpit.

Subtext: “Let me influence your standards, outcomes, behaviors and morals by dryly massaging you with my verbal and energetic bone folder.”

How they hijack the conversation: With a stern glance, a dry cough, condescending dressing down or Daddy-energy scolding. They hijack with steady, grounded authoritativeness. Words like should, right, proper, better appear externally or between the lines. Even when having a spot o’ fun, engaging with them can feel polite, moralistic or like they’re restraining themselves from straightening your collar. People might feel as if they’ll be scolded or disappoint the 1 if they step too far into the fringes of messiness, controversy or inappropriate commentary. You can talk to them about regular mundane topics, but there will always be an undercurrent of controlled leadership and guiding you towards a higher ideal.

Type 2 💞🍯 Flower Power Bottom 🦑🌻

They steer conversations toward: Others needs, feelings, emotions and relationships. How they can / have / do help you, or can make themselves necessary. They’re often weaving narratives centered around special moments or connections and can steer them towards the saccharine shores of Weeping Willows Beach or intensifying their connection with you through flattery, emotionality or centering how special your connection is. When talking about others they tell stories that either highlight themselves as the narrator of a magical moment or cherished memory, or actively position themselves as the necessary person, the one who has the most nurturing emotional impact.

Subtext: “Let me demonstrate how irresistible my care is. I’m the blanket you want to snuggle in, or at least notice and appreciate how necessary my warmth and honey-dipped heart candies are to the survival of others.”

How they hijack the conversation: They find the emotional heartbeat of the room and position themselves as the only one who can truly hear it. As positive types, they can center things on “pleasant,” emotionally uplifting topics, on their important relationships or things they’re contributing. This can feel like “hijacking” if someone wishes to be “negative,” realistic or gets icked out by the intrusive quality of their moist, engulfing heart style of reality creation.

Type 3 🎭 🏆 Gem & The Holograms 🎥 ⭐

They steer conversations toward: They’re typically charming and like to keep things shiny. They will often steer conversations to their success, achievements, where they shine or how they’re valued. This can range from subtle brags - who they know, who desires them, what they’ve accomplished or are good at - to outright positioning themselves moment-to-moment in a favourable or aspirational light. They can massage truths (which may or may not implicate or denigrate others - although it will often be subtle so they cannot be outright accused later) in order to highlight their most impressive traits, experiences or skills. As the ‘vanity’ and ‘deception’ heart type, 3’s are always unconsciously and consciously weaving narratives to intoxicate their ideal audience into desiring, admiring or trusting them towards an optimal outcome. Their attention can feel quite special but it might just be that they are zeroing in on you to extract information to see what you offer, where you fall short, what you need and how it aligns with their agenda. Being around 3’s feel like you’ve been chosen by a venerated person.

Subtext: “Notice it, be impressed by it or you go in The Burn Book / Girlboss Grimoire.”

How they hijack the conversation: They can get competitive and engage in one-up-manship or subtle put-downs. They can also center the convos too much on superficialities by keeping things above a certain level of polish, so as not to get too in the mud with the commoners (unless they’re trying to extract dirt or manipulate you, lel). They don’t want you bringing down their brand with yo stank. There’s often a third party being brought into their dialogue as a prop to make them look good, as if an oily salesman busting out it’s little “Here’s why my company is better than the other shoddy company!” or “See the excellent results this buyer got with my services!” sales pamphlet. It won’t be as literal but if you start feeling yourself being sold on someone’s agenda or vision and recruited into their web, you might be talking to a 3.

Type 4 🫀✍️ Withering Heights 🥀🩸

They steer conversations toward: Self-mythology through expressing their inner life and focusing on what’s missing or special, destined moments that most couldn’t possibly grasp. What’s meaningful (and what’s meaningless - ptoeey!). Often scattering symbolism, emotional highs and lows through their little monologues. They’re unconsciously weaving narratives about the great tragedy of their lived experience, unrelatable brand of uniqueness and off-putting dramatics. They highlight how rare, deep or misunderstood they are by shifting focus to how common, tedious or shallow others are and how much easier the plebians have it.

Subtext: “Dearly beloved/hated, you are gathered here today to bear witness to my special, unrelatable (don’t you fucking dare), creative rupture romantic agonizing breakthrough collapse drama inner world today. You’re welcome. Don’t forget to leave a tip or a poem about how it made you feel.”

How they hijack the conversation: 4’s can escalate a “How’s your day going?” into a cinematic monologue about what’s missing, the aesthetics or existential betrayal of having to inhabit such a banal and hideous world. If they’re insulting someone or not wishing to engage, they can express contempt, target the ‘mask’ of the person by cracking it (ex: if a 3 is annoying them they might casually or subtly diminish whatever the 3 is bragging about by revealing how shallow it is). Often mundane slices of life are recontextualized into some kind of cinematic moment, as if they law of attracted the most dramatic thing that could possibly happen in the least dramatic of situations. 4’s have Main Character Syndrome, and so they can be constantly pulling focus back to them and their frothing, tumultuous inner experience even if you’re trying to talk about something you’re struggling with.

Type 5 🧠📻 Faraday Mage | Info Dump Wars 🤖🫙

They steer conversations toward: Specific concepts, their specializations or hyper-fixations, or unusual topics, regardless of what the other person wants. 5’s are often in a compartmentalized brain sac swimming in a stew of their own esoterica, theories, odd ideas and visions. This isn’t like a 9 who can get lost in an internal ‘world’ of symbols and theories but struggles to articulate them on command. 5’s are quite sharp on their expression, you just don’t get it because you’re not as smart as they are. They can come across as intellectually condescending, mentally arrogant, cold, uncaring and reptilian in how they frame things, or erudite for erudite’s sake. While you may feel confused by what they’re saying, they’re not being vague, fluffy or emotional or about it. However, if they find you interesting, they may put a lot of focus on you - which means you’re an intriguing specimen. This is less about connection for them and more about squeezing novel data or painting cells in a spreadsheet with your viscera.

Subtext: “If we must speak, it will be on my terms and topics I wish to engage in. My fixation brain tabs are the most important thing to me, therefore they get all of the RAM. If you try to steal my RAM for meaningless queries, your little tab will be obliterated.”

How they hijack the conversation: They’re unlikely to engage with you on topics they aren’t interested in, overly emotional topics, or personally messy issues. Ask them about a subject they are interested in and it becomes the Info Dump Wars. It can almost feel like talking to an alien until you learn their language, and then you mostly have to operate within that language because you’re not going to get a whole lot else out of them otherwise.

Type 6 🤓⚒️ Sherlock Groans 🔮🔍

They steer conversations toward: Maintaining a baseline of certainty, support, loyalty and camaraderie. This can manifest as in-jokes, humor, “testing” (using humor or provocations or overtly fear-driven “tests” designed to result in a “GOTCHA!!!!”), endless questions, drain-circling, census-taking and checking in. They’re often unconsciously looking for inconsistencies, hidden motives or things that could go wrong or ways they could be abandoned, which creates a fear-driven undercurrent to even the most enjoyable of interactions. Then might feel guilty and crack a self-deprecating joke. They can be simultaneously self-righteous in their position (tribal or ‘the science says’) while also expressing how they’re not above anyone else, and simply an average person.

Subtext: “Do you hate me? Would you love me if I was a worm? Would you step on me, tho? What if I’m already a worm and I don’t know it. Would you tell me? Am I gonna be left to fend for myself??? AHHHHH! HELP! But also, I’m tough. So F off.”

How they hijack the conversation: They might introduce a hypothetical threat that derails the conversations into worst case scenario-ing, anxiety spin-outs, debates, arguments, and covert lie detector hazing rituals. They might also get overly fussy about facts or making sure everyone is on the same page. While they can be the funniest, most irreverent person in the room where you feel like you’re at a private open mic session (that you want to be at), they can also force you into becoming their de-escalation bomb squad (often making it worse in the process).

Type 7 🪩🎉 Clown Syndrome 🤡🎪

They steer conversations toward: Future excitations, sidequests, big ideas, chaotic schemes, unhinged theories and crazy stories. They might even turn your conversation into its own adventure before you know what you’re being roped into, and your encounter becomes the next zany yarn they’re spinning. As positive types they can focus on topics or visions that feel disconnected from reality and almost like they’re just trying to get themselves high through verbal theatrics (which will either sweep you up into the delirium with them or leave you feeling confused or flattened). They make great cheerleaders though and love to big up the people around them and bring them up in the clouds of delusion and glittering Cheetos with them.

Subtext: “This is boring if it’s not entertaining and possibilities-oriented. When I’m forced to sit in boredom, heaviness or limitation I teeter close to the edge of complete insanity in the black, hungry abyss! So let’s juggle balls, baby!!!” *cue circus music*

How they hijack the conversation: They actively throw sparks, possibilities, inappropriate jokes, detours, plans or provocations into conversations when they find the interaction dull (or you’ve excited them with some kind of idea and they can’t resist becoming a verbal sonic the hedgehog). Often their unpredictability leads conversations way off-course until you have no idea what’s going on anymore. If they’re a particularly energetic 7, it can also feel like you’re being waterboarded into submission by the sheer magnitude of how much they can talk and continue to generate new things to talk about at a machine gun speed.

Type 8 💣🏰 Girthquake / Size Queen / Size King ⚔️🔥

They steer conversations toward: Where they can lead, take control and flex their power. They prefer topics to be centered around something they’re fluent or dominant in. But because they’re assertive gut types, if they’re stuck in a conversation that isn’t something they feel all-knowing in, they might quietly watch, steamroll or hubristically pretend they know even more than the expert at the table does or somehow that person learned everything they know from them. As reactive types (like 4 and 6), they can also direct conversations towards uncovering people’s weaknesses, agendas, rooting out the rot (aka people they can’t control or might threaten their little kingdom).

Subtext: “Respect my authorité. If you do not respect my authorité, you get the guillotine. Knowing you’re out there disrespecting and undermining me makes me feel weak, terrified and vulnerable. Your days are numbered, ex minion.”

How they hijack the conversation: They take up a lot of energetic space with bluntness, hard truths, intensity, volume or presence. You will know an 8 by the fear their mere presence induces in other people. This fear can cause people to flock around them and want to bet aken under their wing as a favourite, or it can cause them to make fast enemies with others who also see themselves as the star of the show (in however that manifests for them). They can be antagonistic, aggressive or at the very least, intimidating. If they feel you’re undermining or threatening them, they can either escalate or shut you down without a trial or rebuttal.

Type 9 ✨😶‍🌫️ VaporWave / Sighspiria 🌫️🕊️

They steer conversations toward: Well… they don’t “steer,” per se. They might do a little backseat GPS suggesting, or tone policing, passive aggressive manippie-lationz, or the occasional eruption or bitchfest (because someone is messing with the vibe, causing issues, or the “driver” isn’t comfortably merging with traffic), but usually the preference is for shared good times, going with the flow, enjoyment for all with the least friction or irritation. They can talk about whatever, with whomever, whenever. They try it out, they remix it, they absorb it. Just relax, fren. Although if you get stuck with a droopy 9 (usually because they have 6 / 4 in their type), they can center a lot of narratives around the negatives in their lives. But the undercurrent is “I don’t want to ask you directly, but will you help me with this to restore comfort.”

Subtext: “Don’t ruin the vibes with conflict and tension, brah. Can’t we all just have a nice time?”

How they hijack the conversation: The Kings and Queens of passive aggression, timed sighs, half eyerolls and disappearing acts (napping, ghosting, arriving late, not paying attention). They can softly hijack the conversation through emitting annoyed energy, aggressively sighing or trying to smooth the energy. Softly redirecting, minimizing, or joking until the sharp edges disappear and everyone forgets the issue existed. They can also hijack the conversation by not hijacking the conversation - where they assume you’ll do the heavy lifting for content generation they can ping off, agree with, laugh along with. If you put too much attention on them, their needs, anything that feels too centering or exposing they can get deeply uncomfortable.

Accompanying video incoming soon.

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The Enneagram Integration & Disintegration Lines are FAKE. 🫢

Wait, what are the Enneagram lines? 👇 Allegedly…

The lines of integration and disintegration describe how each type changes to resemble another specific type in the enneagram as the person unravels or evolves.

Disintegration = the type you resemble when stressed.

Integration = the type you resemble when growing or becoming healthier.

Example: 1 moves toward 4 when stressed, becoming more indulgently cvnty, prissy and withdrawn. In growth 1 moves toward 7, becoming spontaneous, laissez faire and delulu.

So basically they become NOT their type? 😒🥴

❌ NO ❌

Why bullshit then? 💩

The “line” you “move to” in stress or becoming less of an NPC (getting older, more self aware) doesn’t exist. The shift is a natural expression of overdoing or underdoing your core type. You’re not becoming another type temporarily (or permanently if you’ve really gaslit yourself on your mistype). 🙄

1’s don’t “disintegrate to 4” they just double down on self-righteousness and their not-so-secret god complex. The natural polarity swing is then “integration at 7” - daddy puts his feet up, cracks a brew and lets out some of that trapped gas. 💨 😷

This plays out for every type.

These are just basic human cycles, ebbs and flows, overdoing/underdoing, responses to life being more or less agonizing - not morphing into or taking on another type’s behaviors. You are still doing and being your core type. ♾️

6’s don’t disintegrate to 3, they just get sick of being the right hand buddy, become more confident and self-trusting and feel entitled to a treat and some recognition and respect for all their studying + slaving. 📚

7’s don’t integrate to 5, suddenly wall up + self-reflect. They bottom out, run out of options and locking in is a more productive way to “escape” their situation than ending up naked in a gutter in Thailand. 🏝️

4’s don’t disintegrate to 2 and become clingy and needy (if you’re doing that, you’re a 6 lmao). They’re already princesses and just use feigned baby state or manipulation to get you to do shit for them that they feel above and too uniquely separate and special to do themselves. 🥀

If you’re trying to learn the enneagram and finding it confusing, then ditch learning about the lines. They’re totally useless. You don’t need them for self-work nor understanding the types. 👀 😳

Better yet, get on the waitlist for 💅 👑 Pattern Recognition Princess 👑 💅. I won’t just teach you the most lasered in version of the Enneagram but also how to use it in the real world to become a simulation overlord / princess (princes and royal theylets also welcome).

Social instinct = hierarchies, networks, public persona, social equity, pop culture, lovers/haters, social movements/critiques, and sure - “belonging.”

Self-Preservation instinct = foundational “supplies” (home, security, food, money, objects, time, energy), environmental comforts, stability, steadiness, equilibrium.

Sexual instinct = chasing/generating chemistry (at risk of SO + SP), chemical romance, churning intrigue, lighting fires/snuffing fires/lighting fires/snuffing fires, hungry atomic sparks, sexual/creative/rupturous/rapturous collision, lust/disgust.

👁️🫦👁️ First instinct struggle vs last instinct struggle 🥴🔫

First instinct = 🧃👀🥵 for the “struggle”

Middle instinct = ✨😈✨ what struggle?

Last instinct = 🥱🛑😭 for the “struggle”

Further…

First instinct = 🥵 for the “struggle”

Fixation, returns again and again even if it sucks, as soon as one thing is resolved a new one crops up, can be source of pleasure or pain that is akin to pleasure in that the person masochistically fixates on it. It’s working in tandem with the core type to feed the ego with a self-confirming narrative.

This is the water someone swims in. 🐠 What they notice most day to day, and are concerned about when it’s missing. There is always something to do or fixate on here.

Middle instinct = ✨ 😈 ✨ what struggle?

Not to say there won’t be times of struggle or disruption (especially if the person has reactive/frustration in type) but this instinct can feel energizing in medium doses or more easily understood in a care-free manner. Low stakes in a looser way - not catastrophic like the last instinct and not constantly churning like the dominant instinct.

Last instinct = 🥱 for the “struggle”

Untenable, a risk to what they really desire to experience (first instinct), avoidable (until it comes crashing down), annoying or disruptive/terrorizing in a way that derails baseline disruptions. A slap to the face 👋.

Can be something they just don’t “get” or care about / think is particularly important (unless it threatens more precious instinctual needs). The focus or fixation the person is quickest to ditch or offload as soon as they can. It holds no / little 🧃🎁 (in their mind).

Take it or leave it? 👋 🕳️ 🤗

First instinct = 🤔 that’s an option? I don’t believe you. Hrm… keep it.

Middle instinct = take it, leave it, wine it, dine it, 69 it 💅.

Last instinct = 🫠 rather not but once a year, twice if he’s lucky.

I don’t personally believe anyone is “blind” in an instinct. 🧑🏻‍🦯 😎 It’s all about unconscious preferences and comfort and discomfort zones. 🐽 🔥 ☁️ Is this how you 👀 the instincts? 🤔

🥛💐👹Get typed by Larissa: https://ko-fi.com/goblinsofdiscord/shop

She’s procrastinating writing the final book in a teen romance series when she gets invited by her first love 🫀 to his baby shower. A distraction from the crumbling prison of pointless sex, monotony and ghostwritten oblivion she inhabits.🏚️🥱 Her bland ex Buddy becomes her escape hatch, the*missing piece.* 🥀 The thing that will fix it, complete her. 🥵🤡🫠 The wife and babies are irrelevant to her fated romance.🦵👶🏻 🕳️ 👋

After hitting the slimy bottom of the wet bar floor, getting covered in 🍷 during a breathtaking piece of emotional performance art, sleeping with a shriveled flesh egg creature, the realization hits. 🌪️ ☕️ ✨

The common denominator isn’t that she’s the one who’s toxic (altho this is also true ☢️) it’s that she’s the one with all the heat. She was looking outside for something that could never match the level of unspeakable delusion inside - she had just forgotten this fact. 🔥 She had been playing Barbies with unworthy stick figures, not fit to pass a tedious Sunday. Smug nothings zombie-walking thru projections of her inner world, that cease to exist once her eyes turn away. 👀 🥱 Her 35mm fantasies were the most interesting thing about them.🪞😍

It was never about some chuddy Buddy or getting back some unlived life she would’ve been repulsed by had she got it - it was about reigniting her own spark. 🧨 To me, this relates to the sexual instinct + the heart center, because it’s where lore is forged, ruined, destroyed, rebirthed anew, restyled over and over. 🐍 🔪 What to do with such energy? ⚡️Mavis’ new story is still unwritten but she seems to have figured it out.

The disillusioned narcissist to empowered narcissist arc is 👌😘. Sometimes you need to wallow in your own mess for a while in order to see the more grandiose possibilities. ✨

🎥 You can watch my longer videos on Nightcrawler (about an sp/so 3w4 51) and Get Out (about a 963 “Passenger”) on YouTube if this type of material interests. In both, I talk about the ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ of Enneagram types, which is something that I noticed a couple of years ago applying my knowledge of storytelling to the Enneagram. Expect more film snippets and longer episodes in the coming months. ✂️ 💐 👹

Want to get typed? Check out my shop.

Here are some of my thoughts on the instincts / instinct stackings. I have personally found the instincts to be tremendously muddy and sticky due to many descriptions of social and sexual being poisoned by confusing overlaps with types, overly personalized (and often wrong) descriptions of what the instincts are/are not, and honestly not even understanding my own instinctual expressions / patterns independent of other elements of my type, various traumas and ego fixations. I am of the mind we can cycle through and access all three instincts (due to internal and external factors being met/not met/impossible/traumatic/activating), but have a resting baseline instinctual existence we prefer that feels more resonant and natural. I don’t believe our personality type/tritype operates the same way. I think the instincts operate on a different plane of existence - frequency and density, perhaps.

Lately, the instincts have been creeping in conversationally and experientially in ways that feel more interesting than they previously have - to be resolved, split-tested, deviated from and mined.

This is a first attempt to create a baseline understanding (for myself) of what the instincts are doing. This mud has a logic to it, and I’m interested to see what spores and lifeforms grow out of it, what purified fermented delights eventually seep through. 🍄🪱🐍✨ 👹

What “bag” is someone trying to secure instinctually? 💰

SELF-PRESERVATION

Is trying to secure a bag of foundational cookies, steaks, time, energy, money, investments (multiple meanings), hovel/home/property, supplies, resource independence, ideal temperature/weather conditions, physical gratification (sniffing butts + sexual release to get off and move on with day 💪😮‍💨), comfortable/satisfying environment and lifestyle, boundary-maxing. 🏠

This “bag” is most static, building on top of itself, tangible, quantifiable, measurable. 🧱

SPSO (self-preservation/social)

Secures the SP bag secondarily via social connections, clout, community, store front, public-facing persona, partner/mate (often chosen for fitting an SP ideal - whether as a “trophy” physically or job/finance/skillset/stable choice - someone to nest with + grow). 🪺 Ant colony, brick-layer mentality. Following the well-trod path for successful outcomes. May be the Mercedes Benz SPSO or the Dollarama can-hoarder, freebie-seeker SPSO - depends on type and conditioning. 🛺

SX lastness can manifest as utilizing SPSO to secure a mate/romantic connection that is devoid of chemistry but checks other more practical boxes. And can then manifest as a wandering eye or Instagram scroll p0rnsick behaviors while the wife cooks dinner, etc. Hand callouses and office humps threaten the SPSO world. 🔥 🧯🏚️

SPSX (self-preservation/sexual)

Secures the SP bag with help from physical attractiveness (defies conventional norms or is more intense/seedy), 🕷️ mystery/strange flavour makes their skills or hovel or body more compelling, creating intensity or sparking intrigue with flirts / exhibitionism designed to create pleasure that leads to $ales, resources, comfort, physical gratification, primal sexual werewolf urgency 🌕 but returns to drinking soup off a hot plate and mainlining black coffee to tinker for 8 hours on some project. Has more degenerate, grimy vibe than SPSO. 🪱You’ll get sticky in their hovel. Worst UTI of your life.🩸Openly lick their fangs at you. 👀 🫦

SX can fuck up SP so person will sacrifice a bit but in bursts, perhaps. 💣 SO lastness can manifest as not being aware of social consequences/cues, which might threaten SP resources because of an unwillingness to engage inter-relationally outside of cave. 🕳️

SOCIAL

Is trying to secure the “bag” of clout, networks, groups, ideology, popularity, public persona with an impressive, significant or at least vaguely aspirationally acceptable “image” and role in the social fabric they exist or desire to exist in. They are focused on relationships, whose doing what/who, who knows who, what’s happening, pop culture or some kind of “social sphere” (specificity and breadth of interest relates more to type). 🎊 Can be shallow social climbers or inspirational leaders with some miserable haters peppered in for variety (using social criticism to distinguish and separate themselves from the herd). 💅

The “bag” is semi-permanent - less stable and more dramatic with SX second, more stable and consistent with SP second. Disposable friendships often shuffled through at leisure vs loyal girl gang. ✨

SOSX (social/sexual)

Is securing social “bag” via chemistry, flirtations, spontaneity, provocations designed to get attention socially or draw energy to social “needs.” Advancing themselves relationally through who they can drive into a limerent frenzy. SX serves to feed the SO hunger to be someone noteworthy. Lovers / partners may serve to boost their social signal and buzz around them. They can be gossiping trash bags or the chaotic friend you invite to turnt up the SPSO board game, cheese cubes and nerd trivia gathering. May use SX to sexualize or create intrigue around their social “role.” ✨

SP lastness can manifest as leveraging

connections to take care of uninteresting SP realm (disregard or feigning incompetence). The hot mess express can threaten the SOSX’s ability to get what they want socially if they become known as consistently unreliable, chaotic, disruptive. 🧨

SOSP (social/self-preservation)

Is securing the social “bag” through tangible and marketable skills, their impressive acquisitions or potential acquisitions (finances, art collection, house, car, their business), maybe using “body” to advance self socially via fashion/style. More refined / snooty tastes than SPSO + SOSX, and can more effortlessly pull off “elegant” or “dapper.” They signal their social worth via SP sculpting (judge a book by its cover). May use SP as portal to reap social harvest, curate social world and block riff-raff. 🪭

SOSP’s can wall out attractions in favour of maintaining social standing, leading to compartmentalized, bone-dry kink. Or SX-lastness can interrupt their game of high tea when their partner sneaks out back to have one-off with the horny maid. Their lack of willingness to “play” can prevent them from opening up social rooms they might want in.

SEXUAL

Is trying to secure a “bag” (or bags) of limerent 🧃, chemical romance, constantly churning intrigue and feeding the hungry sparking atoms that crave another person’s undivided gaze, energetic whirlwind🌪️, high risk (many meanings - devouring/being devoured) attraction, moment of collision and turning someone else / being turned inside out (over and over) to feel alive. They operate on a different dimension where the language is undoing sublimations button by button, and weaving energetic subtext like golden threads that leave scars on the skin. It’s an art form of pulling and pushing, intoxication and purification, suffocating submersion and jet skiing away. This process results in human casualties and lust/disgust organs to harvest 🫀, grind into a powder and bathe in to amplify the SX type’s danger and appeal. 🩸🛁

The “bag” is temporary, mutating, evolving, tangibly unmeasurable outside of a wake of damaged hearts, sweat-soaked sheets and trail of chaos. It is the dance of predator and prey. 🦜 🐅 “Stability” may be sought via a singular, fated, electrifying, transcendent connection but it is an illusion due to the nature of the instinct - supply must be constantly renewing, recharging, reigniting, dying + rebirthing in order for it to maintain “bag” status. When the bag fails, flatlines, runs empty or it becomes poisoned and tainted - which it is likely to do at some point - more bags must be tested, toyed with, sucked on. They may return to original bag when it has replenished its juice or they may stick it in the freezer as a snack for later. 🥶

SXSP (sexual/self preservation)

Is trying to secure a bag full of limerence, intrigue, chemistry, drama and penetration inside of a secret world blocked out by the SP wall. The bouncer may slide the eye hole to the door over and look you up and down 👁️ 👄 👁️ like a delicious morsel but invitation to the cave is special and a show designed for one. Or perhaps you will be led down a long corridor where you are kept in a cell waiting for your turn but you will feel the vampire’s thrall and smell the pheromones as you impatiently wait. ⛓️‍💥🕯️ 🚬

First strategy for summoning sexual supply is magnetic lures - calling upon subject like casting a spell. SP strategy uses beauty of physical body / their artistry or skills / hyper specific aesthetic mesmerism signalling both predator and prey / environment’s charged atmosphere as tangible bait like a siren summoning you to your death.🩸🪨 The cost of admission is your potential destruction. This is not a hyperbole.

You will recognize the SXSP by the sweater they wear, knitted from the veins of their past + current victims that are feeding them sexual caffeine. They will try and keep this process somewhat behind closed doors in their sex tomb but it will ooze out like infectious fluids.

Social lastness “mistakes” + blunders can mess with the SXSP game of intrigue when the social meddlers involve themselves. The social field threatens to overwhelm what the SXSP cannot control and might threaten existing SX bags they’re still squeezing the life out of if a meddler tries palpating it. 🤏

SXSO (sexual/social)

Is securing a “bag” full of limerence and addictive intrigue via the energy field and symbolic web of people (groups, relationships, “audience”). Connections are prioritized / de-prioritized by their capacity to provide ⚡️ + 💦. They fancy themselves the star guest at a masquerade ball and every guest serves to feed, enhance or threaten the seductive narrative they’re actively writing through these connections, for one person (or maybe a couple if they’re feeling ambitious). 🎭 🎟️ 🪩

Social seconds may change dance partners and exchange glances with others but it’s all part of the spectacle to hook one subject. 🎡 They might use these guests to highlight how attractive they are - which may or may not backfire. They’re signalling that they could dance away with another. You will feel the flap of their wings in the air before you realize you’ve been left stranded in a mob of chemically castrated Thriller zombies.

If you’re a savvy enough paramour you’ll be able to follow the glittering breadcrumbs into the sky after them where you may be destroyed by the change in altitude. 🪽🔥

SXSO’s are competitive in a dispersed way, escalating social sparks to energy harvest and create a dizzying effect on their target. They use social to funnel infatuation material to them in a more unrestricted way than SXSP.

But lack of SP can bite them when all the glittering sex bombs they’ve dropped detonate + have consequences.✨💣 Damage to physical/foundational SP resources (last) or even social self is part of the accepted/uninteresting cost of playing with fire and magic. They can potentially re-fashion such damage to be part of the performance to keep the wider audience of potential SX plasma bags engaged but being an SP last means they can appear to be lacking once the SX spell wears off and their subject realizes they are lying on an air mattress in a 200 sqft apartment and dopamine hedonism is a way of life. 🥂

💅 🔨 If you would like to get typed by me or try my Shadow Work mini-workshop: https://ko-fi.com/goblinsofdiscord/shop

👹 Comment below if you want to see someone typed. 👇 They can be obscure or famous, in some strange realm of whatever - so long as there are accessible videos of them talking (ie: interviews).

Also, if you’re not annoying and have flexible EST availability, and wish to jump on a typing call of your submission lmk and I’ll email you or you can email me (larissa) goblinsofdiscord@gmail.com.

No guarantees or promises. I have an extensive list to do already but am always open to getting distracted by a human curio.

I’ll also be retyping a bunch of OG typings on the youtube before the end of the year. Apologies to all the 6 heads. 😭

We’re all doing our own Ego’s version of being terrible. Don’t worry, none will be left unscathed. If you’re a pain piggie, please enjoy torturing yourself in the name of enlightenment and self-growth. Subscribe (free) for updates.

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MISINTERPRETING THE SELF-IMAGE 👀

Image Types or Heart Types (Enneagram 2, 3, 4) are “shame” types - or another way to look at it is a type that’s trying to avoid shame. Their unconscious goal is to circumvent feeling humiliation through their self-image, identity and sense of self. All attempts to drag their self-concept through mud, “misrepresent” it or distort it must be fended off (even if it’s true).

Image Types are trying to outrun the hounds of shame by fixating and doubling-down on their self-concept. Their existence hinges on being able to deflect shame hot potatoes and keep their fantastical self-symbol alive and protected. Hiding in the closet from the barking dogs that howl, “You’re not the way you think you are! Here’s how you actually are!” 

If you inadvertently trigger this wound, this fight or flight response, and unknowingly pass them a shame hot potato, you might find it spiked back into your face. Triggering this response can come about by doing or saying something that reveals to them they’re not in alignment with how they think they are. 

For a 2, that upset could be caused by you pointing out where their “help” had negative consequences; you don’t need their help with something they’re trying to insert themselves in, suggesting they have a self-motivated agenda, or by not appreciating the 50 cookies they brought to the party. Reductive, but also true. You made them feel unnecessary or seen as uncaring. 

For a 3, that can be treating their value (usually dictated by the instinct) as trivial or unimportant. 3’s can even be triggered by encountering someone who is “better” at whatever their ego resides in (being attractive, competent, skilled, talented, popular or prolific - something that’s instinctually “valuable” to them and usually others). 

For a 4, that could be something as simple as treating them as if they’re not a rarity, not catering to their preciousness, or forgetting to walk on eggshells in their presence. Or if you compare them to someone or their creations to something else. You might get a cutting look or a “How dare you?” if you request them to engage in lowly trash pursuits (4w3) or something that’s showy and fake (4w5). 4’s are the only ones allowed to have a rider of special exceptions everywhere they go (it’s implied, not necessarily dictated). To expect them to participate like a regular person is insulting. 

And it doesn’t matter if the 2 isn’t actually helpful or needed, the 3 isn’t actually valuable or impressive, or the 4 isn’t actually rare or deep. This is the lie they must believe about themselves in order to survive. 2’s, 3’s, and 4’s will do anything to keep the shame hot potato from staying in their lap. They must spike it away from themselves; eject it from their consciousness lest it wrap its roots around their heart and devour their most prized organ (and sense of identity). 

SHAME & “THAT’S NOT ME” 😳

All image types auto-reflexively “no” at “misinterpretations” of their self-image (how they see themselves). It’s a dagger straight into their sense of worth. It can inflict agony upon them to be confronted with information contrary to the fantasy they paint of themselves. How this “no” can manifest is quite literally (“No, (insert image correction)...”), doubling down on what they said, repeating the same thing in a different way, a hostile over-reaction, or getting irritated and ending the interaction. Everyone has a heart center, so we all do our heart center to a degree, but you’ll notice this kind of thing more with core Heart/Image Types.

This process is not about you, it’s about the Image Type and how they perceive themselves. And this mirage is created to avoid the pain of shame on the identity level. Shame can make you feel violated, disgusting, degraded and left in tatters on the floor. As if someone has pissed in your face. Which is why “hostility” is associated with the image center (although other types can be hostile), because this is the hill they’ll die on. It’s where their self-worth resides.

A 2 “no’s” at you “misunderstanding” their loving, positive and helpful good intentions - how could it be anything but that? I am but an angel of spiritual nutrition and delicious tiddy to all who are worthy. They’ll double-down on how charitable and big-hearted they are. To be seen as uncaring or self-serving would cause them tremendous shame. Therefore, they have no malintent, nothing they do ever has negative consequences, and you (dependent, family, lover, close friend) absolutely need them. And if they feel you don’t need them and they cannot create a situation in which you do need them, the relationship may experience a rough patch. Because not being needed or having their caring received as caring, is so painful to them on the identity level. They may continuously try to become necessary in your life, often like a broken record, offering you what they think you “need” via their dominant instinct (social, sexual or self-preservation aka money/food/useless shit). 

A 3 “no’s” at you “misunderstanding” their valuable, attractive and skilled - whether it’s actual skills (sp), popularity (so) or sex appeal/magnetism (sx) - self-image. This will be flavored by their wings. Maybe you misunderstood (or interrupted) their 3w2 story about a special connection they had with someone else (which insinuates their value), or how people threw them a party (which insinuates how desirable they are to others). Or, perhaps, you interrupted or misunderstood their existential 3w4 story about how the grind is wearing them down (which insinuates they suffer for their success) or how other people are getting in the way of their success (it’s never a 3’s fault - they’re perfect), or how all of these people find them so attractive that they’re constantly being hit on (insinuating their sexual market value). You’ll understand, they are more or better than others in some area their ego likes to hangout. Because to feel “less than” or a “loser” in this category stirs up a great deal of shame and horror. It makes them feel worthless, which causes them to go into the 3’s coping strategy of Image PR Mode - and if that means destroying you in the process, so be it. If you wound a 3’s self-image by not recognizing or appreciating their worth - or worse, you inadvertently outdo them, call out their competitive BS, or point out the holes in the mounting deceptions they’re weaving - they will set out to ruin your image and reputation behind the scenes to pass the Shame Hot Potato onto you. (Personal experience, verified.) They do this to regain their sense of self and fend off the hounds of shame at the door.

A 4 “no’s” at you “misunderstanding” their tragic, unfixable and precious separateness - you can’t and won’t be able to understand it or relate to it (by design). A 4 is the only one not wearing a mask (this is their Ego talking), and existing in a plane of personal and creative significance and meaning that is unknowable to others. They will auto-reflexively have a disgust response if you (a phony) attempt to insert, compare or attach your shallow experience to the melodramatic romance and artistic suffering of their experience. Or worse, you try to inflict your hideous “vision” or “aesthetic” onto them. Because you’re being fake and they aren’t. You can’t possibly relate to their experience, because that would mean they have something in common with an empty low-life like you. Not possible - their ego will not allow that narrative to invade the 4’s consciousness. And so it is you who are in the wrong for attempting such an act of profanity. They may even try to unconsciously “one-up” your sob story/special melodrama with the kind of shit that many people keep hidden or would view as a weakness or defect. There’s not room for more than one special exception, just so we’re clear.

More on 4 (because why not?)... 

For most people, relating is how they feel “safe” and connect with others. Relating and connecting puts the 4’s entire self-concept in danger. It’s ruining their fantasy (which is everything). If they “relate” to you, give you special attention, or invite you into their experience, they are making a sacrifice or they’ve taken a shine to you. This is a grand act of generosity, from their perspective. This is not autopilot. They do not feel obligated to do this. This is a conscious choice and it is your honor. They’ve carved out a little cushion for you, treasured guest. And because the “special exception” type has made a special exception for you, it can leave them feeling utterly violated and degraded if they made the wrong call (and the other person may have no idea what they even said or did to insult the 4 because their list of qualms are so specific to them). 

A 4 wishes to connect under the mask, into the depths and truth of someone (which is often disturbing to others, negative, horrible or tragic). If they’re making the great sacrifice of connecting with you, it’s because they deem you worthy of their highly limited and precious “other-oriented” resources. There’s something they find special about you (often conditionally) but it’s an act of charity on their part. When a 4 is being “kind” to someone, it’s because it’s reflecting back to them something meaningful about themselves or because they find something significant in their connection with that person. Maybe that person speaks to their heart, seems sincere enough to engage with, or is so fascinating, beautiful, or conversely strikingly hideous to the point of intrigue, that they capture the 4’s sense of romance or imagination. Or maybe they can just sense a creative pearl forming beneath the surface that a reactive-heart interrogation would bring to the surface. 

Having said that, good luck if you’re actually suffering and expect the 4 to hold space for more than an hour while you out-suffer their suffering. An unconscious horror will wash upon them as they become less and less the tragic star of their own film, and may have to quickly end communication, “one-up” you with their own tale of woe or some other tragic affair or spin a narrative of how you somehow cursed them or interrupted their creative process, or some such.

IMAGE ATTACK & IDENTITY NUDITY 🩸🗡️

When an Image Type’s image is “attacked” (whether it actually is or not), they feel naked and disgusting. As if the lights have all been turned on inside the house and they didn’t have time to get dressed and make themselves look good. And every wall is now a magnified reflective surface - a house of distorted mirrors, a carnival freakshow. You’ve seen something they don’t want you to see, because it’s something that even they cannot look at themselves. And now they’re staring at it and cannot look away. It’s something that makes them feel so profoundly inadequate that they had to create this heart-shaped fantasy in order to cope with it. For someone else, that “thing” may be totally “whatever” but this is the thing the Heart Type’s soul has chosen as its cross to bear. 

The 2 fears they’re unlovable and unworthy if they’re not loving and nurturing. They will be lost in the sea of others, with no one who cares about them and no connections to their own heart (because their heart’s survival requires the blood of others). They control the narrative of their heart by self-sacrificing, giving and loving. They turn themselves into a nest that holds you and cares for you and you cannot survive without.

The 3 fears they’re unlovable and unworthy if they’re not valuable, desirable, and impressive. They will be lost in the sea of others, and overlooked and forgotten. They control the narrative of their heart by comparing, competing and achieving. They turn themselves into a desirable “star”, a recognizable and impressive trophy. They often surround themselves with other trophies that make them look good by proxy (reflecting back their worth), or make them appear more impressive when sitting next to them on a shelf (because they’re a smaller/less impressive trophy but still acceptable to their image to associate with or gain a supply of validation from).

The 4 fears they’re unlovable and unworthy if they’re common, shallow and relatable. They’ll be lost in the sea of the faceless masses, with no creative significance or true meaning. They control the narrative of their heart by withdrawing, distancing and separating themselves. They turn themselves into a rare, precious, cryptic and one-of-a-kind symbol. This isn’t dissociating or ghosting to the 9’s who relate to this, this is melodramatic and active pain used to self-generate ink and paint. Their absence is noticed. That’s the point. 

This pain of abasement is so profound and bone-rattling, that the Image Type will do anything to avoid it - both consciously and unconsciously.

IMAGE TYPES & THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO THE “MIRROR” 🪩

Image types are “mirror” types insofar as it’s all about how they see themselves and how that is reflected back to them. I personally think all Image Types view other people as an appendage or reflection of themselves. 2’s to feel needed and loved, 3’s to feel valued and worthy, and 4’s to feel separate and creatively significant.

The Image Center is using you to bolster their self-concept.

2’s use you to feel loved, needed, and give themselves permission to have and do something they feel too ashamed to have/do directly. You’re needed for their Superego to justify the love they show themselves. They gave you their old sweaters - an act of self-sacrifice - and now they have permission to buy themself a new one. They put you first (their child, or loved one) and sacrificed their big dream, and so now they get to (shamelessly) live through your dream, knowing without them your dream would not have been possible.

3’s use you to elevate their self-image and sense of worth and value through comparison, competition, imitation and emulation. 3’s need you (whether you’re someone they admire, aspire to be like, someone they view as a rival or a rung on a ladder, or perhaps you’re someone they wish to acquire - like a trophy wife, or possess something they want) in order to feel self-worth. Once they have your validation or praise, they feel worthy. Once they have achieved something you could not achieve, they feel worthy. Once they’re seen as the exemplar, then they finally feel good enough. They need you, because without you they have no metric of their worth.

4’s use you to deepen their experience and understanding of themselves through whatever roiling emotions and tragic narratives they’re projecting onto you - disgust, unhinged passion, love of their life, despair, inutterable hatred, etc. Or perhaps you serve some utility in their self-excavation (a cameraman documenting the story of their life). Or perhaps being in your presence reinforces the narrative that they’re separate and “deep” because compared to you, shallow vulture, they can’t help but be. The juice you provide is specific to the narrative that the 4 has created about themselves that highlights how distanced they are from others. And when you fail to deliver on this highly implausible fantasy or you fail to see and adequately appreciate how special they are - OR heaven forbid, your needs become too front and center - they will paint you fuckin’ OUT of frame in the most melodramatic or insulting way possible (insofar as it feeds into their tragic narrative of suffering and separation). 4’s aren’t negatively identified with “separation” the way 9’s and 6’s are, they like it that way.

I want to reiterate that it’s not about you. It’s about them.

2 is pointing the mirror at you and seeing themself in the reflection. Your wins are their wins. Your achievements are thanks to their help. Your problems are their problems. According to the picture they paint, they even suffer more than you do when you’re in pain. They find self-worth and keep the hounds of shame at bay through how much you need them and are grateful for them. 

3 is having sex with you in a wall-sized (or ceiling, depending on your preference) mirror. They’re watching themselves fuck you, dominate you, seduce you, manipulate you, outdo you, destroy you, even BECOME YOU - believing you’ll never have better and they should charge you for the experience. And after they’re done, they may even rob your ass or steal your spouse just because they can. Of course, how a 3 seduces, fucks and destroys you will be largely dependent on other factors of their personality (an SP/SO 3 with a 9 gut will be much more subtle about the entire affair because they’re more prone to gaslighting themselves about their own intentions, whereas an SP/SX 3-8 won’t be as bothered to hide their bloodlust). They find self-worth in this pursuit, and keep the hounds of shame at bay through comparison and value.

4 is looking at themselves in the mirror, and that is absolutely fascinating enough as it is. If they allow you into the picture with them, it’s because you’re changing the way the light hits them in a way that deepens their understanding of themselves or whatever they’re fixated on (which is also a reflection of themselves). Or you’re adding to the tragic, symbol-laden narrative they’re writing about themselves on the mirror. And if you take up too much space in the mirror, try and block their view of themselves and their writings, try and impose your agenda or influence on this experience, or bring in some kind of element that is repulsive to the 4, they will unceremoniously push you away from the mirror, and seal up whatever sewer pipe you crawled out of, you hideous reptile. It’s ok though, because now you’ve become fuel for a self-indulgent song or romantically grotesque painting. *wilted rose emoji*

This is reductive, but it’s necessary to understand what the type is doing by default: 

For 2’s it’s all about your needs (to meet their needs).

For 3’s it’s all about their needs being met by temporarily adjusting themselves to your needs (and once their needs are met or they realize it’s a waste of time and energy, they will discontinue adapting).

For 4’s it’s all about their needs to meet their needs. They may get into codependent dynamics that support their effete lifestyle or creative opulence, but others are merely a life support system for them to actualize their artistic significance.

Can a 2 be openly selfish and stingy? Yes. Can a 3 authentically care about another person without an agenda? Yes. Can a 4 be kind and generous? Yes. 

It’s just not the default program, nor where their sense of self feels “safe.”

Every single Enneagram type is a user and abuser. And they’re doing it in service of the horrifying cosmic epoxy that is holding our Ego in place (which we need to survive). Think of these tactics as survival mechanisms. Even ones that you interpret as malicious, are being largely unconsciously enacted by the person with the sole purpose of survival and their continued existence. 

Because our Personality Type is the lie our Ego tells us to stay alive.

Having said that, I still find some type’s patterns more irritating than others.

BEING THE “STAR” OF THE FILM & PUSHING OTHERS OUT OF FRAME 🎥🤩

When I started paying attention to how image types made me feel a few years ago, I noticed the unmistakable sensation of someone attempting to push me out of the frame of my own life’s film. Elbowing me out of the way (THE NERVE!) of MY personally created psychedelic New Beverly’s Worst Hits marathon, and insert themselves in it. Even if I didn’t invite them to the show.

“Look at me!” the desperate, wannabe screen stars scream as they try and edit over top of your film with theirs (2’s by intruding and “helping”, 3’s by outdoing and competing, and 4’s by being “difficult”). They desire to be the main character in all situations. You’re merely a bit player in their movie, an extension of themselves, or an object of frustration, affection or rivalry. 

A 2 pushes you out of the frame to be your needed, adored figure (or to talk about how they’re the lead in someone else’s film who needs them), and draw attention to how loving and needed they are. While this means 2’s can be the one who will nurse you back to health, make sure you’re well-fed and cared for it can also manifest in them essentially “owning” you and having a level of control over your life. Whether it’s because you actually do need them (ie: financially, or they’re a go-between for something you desire) or because they find a way to constantly meddle and intrude - they’re indispensable. They become the star through “self-sacrifice”, martyrdom, manipulation and even hoe behavior if they have SX (like pampering someone else’s husband or being overtly sexual and gooey). You will know the 2 has invaded your frame when you feel a dozen wet tentacles wrap themselves around your independence, privacy, relationships and agency.

A 3 often enters your film by impressing you with something (which can involve bringing someone else’s ‘movie’ with them to indirectly highlight how valuable they are, whether it’s because the relationship makes them look good or they look good by comparison) or telling you something you want to hear. And if they find your movie more desirable than their current one, and it seems doable to them, once they’ve gained your trust and are squarely positioned in your film, they’ll begin the process of trying to straight up push you out of your own movie and replace you as the leading lady. And if you won’t allow them to edit themselves into your film and become the star, they’ll splice elements of your movie (the aesthetic, film score, dialogue, costumes and other characters) into their movie. And maybe even key your screen or try and steal your audience on the way out. 

A 4 is in their own film. They aren’t trying to push you out of frame to accomplish anything other than keeping you out of theirs. They didn’t enter your film, you entered theirs. You taint it. Poison it. Make it ugly. They’re largely uninterested in whatever is playing in the other theater’s rooms (unless it speaks to them in a meaningful way). Perhaps you’re playing a catastrophically loud action film next door and their attention is unavoidably drawn to it. If they have to pause their film, they’ll be seeking to push your vulgar trash out of their screening room so they can resume filming. (This metaphor is getting messy, I know.) And they do this with brooding expressions of disgust, refusing to “participate,” dramatic or slyly cutting insults, or intentionally getting under your skin to invoke a negative reaction so they can see behind whatever false persona they think you’re presenting - real or imagined. They’re hoping by doing this it cuts the power to your projection room so you just go away, or as grounds to get a restraining order so you can never invade their sacred screening room again. And, if the 4 does invite you into their screening room to bear witness to their film, or even come in as a guest star or romantic interest, it comes with conditions and is revocable at any time. It will be on their terms, not yours. 

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ENVY & HEART TYPES 🧿😡🥀

So envy, just like jealousy, is just an average human emotion that anyone could feel throughout their life and that doesn’t necessarily indicate type. I know quite a few envious hater 6’s and low-key envious 9’s. The most classically envious type (in my opinion) is 3. However, I believe Envy goes hand in hand with Shame, therefore Image Types are all “Envy” types (despite it only being associated with Type 4).

The definition, according to dictionary.com: “To envy is to feel resentful and unhappy because someone else possesses, or has achieved, what one wishes oneself to possess, or to have achieved.”

All Image Types are Envy types because they’re all about their self-image, and if information to the contrary comes in that someone is like or more of that self-concept than themselves it might trigger the fuck out of them. If they see that person as threatening to their self-concept then envy can arise. Because Image Types want to avoid the shame of not being how they desire to see themselves at all costs, envy can be highly activating to them.

If you’ve ever been in a room with a pair of 2’s, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a nurturing and self-sacrificing competition. Who is the most caring and generous? It’s totally hilarious and revolting. The muffins flying, the offers of this favour and that favour, while also smiling and flattering each other. 2’s won’t identify with the emotion of “envy” (as a Superego Type), so they’ll seek to erase it through care and flattery because it goes strongly against their self-concept.

3’s envy and covet what you have, what you are, who you know, how you look, who you’re with, your success, etc, when it triggers their self-concept. What they envy are the things they think have “worth” or “value” where the Ego lives. If you have that in an area they do (or perceive as lack in themselves), then they will envy that. 3’s envy is in the conventional sense of the word. Higher health 3’s are more playful and light about this competitive aspect of themselves, but lower health 3’s can become quite calculated, sinister and underhanded when their “envy” is awoken. 3’s seek to do something about their envy as Assertive types. I think of low health 3’s as the Single White Female type, because once they get into envy mode they’re not just content to outdo you, they also want to replace and annihilate you.

4 envy is kind of pitiable, on some level. They envy people being able to just function and have some kind of normal life that feels unreachable to them because they’re simply so despairing and separate. Of course, they don’t actually want a regular life or to be functional like a regular person. As Withdrawn Types, they’re not going to do anything about this envy (except maybe just trashing the other person), because to do something about it would go against their self-concept. Their envy is like “Look at those mindless, plastic phonies going to their meaningless jobs.” They could easily do that too, but they don’t want to. Type 4’s envy is tainted by dysfunction, repulsion and hate. 

A 3 will seek to destroy their rival or best them, but a 4 will look at that person as a way to make excuses for why they can never truly exist in congruency with this world (which feeds their self-image) or further unconscious fuel for separation. “If only I had a director dad, then I’d get my movie made… Of course they have an album, they’re a sell-out pod person… Oh, if only I was a cum-guzzling fraud, then I too could get an art show.” The irony is - like I already said - they don’t even really want whatever it is they’re enviously whining about, because if they got it they’d find a way to ruin it themselves. 

3’s want success and will seek to maintain it. 4’s may entertain delusions of grandeur - being able to support themselves with their creations is ok (for a while), but “success” isn’t on the table. It may give them a temporary high before it quickly leaves them feeling disgusting. They’ll set fire to their entire life to just purge it from their psyche. It’s only by the grace of The Simulation that a bunch of notorious famous 4’s have maintained careers for as long as they have, despite being insufferable. And so, this envy is just a projection of self-hatred about their own self-indulgent uselessness more than anything else. Bitching and moaning is a recreational pleasure.

THE HEART CENTER COMES WITH STRINGS ATTACHED 🎻

2 is emotionally expanding outwards (service, care, you). 2 is emotionally self-indulgent outwards (masturbatorily overdoing their connections to others with intrusion, meddling, “helping”).

4 is emotionally expanding inwards (creation, reflection, me). 4 is emotionally self-indulgent inwards (masturbatorily overdoing their connection to self and their creations). 

3 is emotionally triangulating between themselves and others. 3 is emotionally self-indulgent with others' gaze directed at them (masturbatorily getting hits of validation from others to feed the self).

TYPE 2: STICKY, SWEET STRINGS THAT LURE YOU IN BUT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WASH OFF

2’s heart strings are active tentacles. 2’s identity is pulled inside. Their self-worth is other-generated and it travels past the outer barrier. Tentacles that reach outward to feed and nourish itself. 

Their focus is radiating out, pulling you inside of them, like Hansel & Gretel into the witch’s candy house, or a Kraken pulling you into its caring mouth. They want to fatten you up with love so you can’t leave. The more you depend on them, the more impossible it becomes to escape (sucks to be a 9 or 4 fixer). And when it’s time to collect, you’re going into the Ego’s oven to be baked to perfection and devoured. Your success will be because of them. Your new family home will be the one they move into or invite themselves to all the time. 

2’s imprint on you, they leave their stink on you, they meddle and insert themselves. They are a drug you need (and probably didn’t ask for) in order to survive. Like a drug dealer: “The first one is free.” The 2 also has an agenda, and with that agenda comes entitlement. How this entitlement fucks them over is that it literally drives people away, running, screaming, erecting hostile boundaries full of booby traps to keep the milky teets and caring, prying fingers from being thrust into their faces and orifices. 

2's put focus on you, so they don’t have to experience shame. By turning you into an appendage, or tasty baked morsel, your offering to the Shame Kraken keeps the fantasy of their kindness alive and keeps the roiling embarrassments at bay.

TYPE 3: THE HEART’S STRINGS ARE A GLISTENING RAZORSHARP TRAP

3’s heart strings create an invisible, glittering fishnet (that can become razor sharp with the flick of a wrist) and moves outwards and inwards. Their unconscious intention is to harvest trophies. While they're telling you what your own desperate little heart wants to hear, they're pulling everything they deem valuable of yours into their own image to enhance their self-worth. This might be your ideas, partner, friends, connections, energy/time/efforts, talents, knowledge or attention. 

As long as you allow this transaction to occur seamlessly, continue to feed the image beast with praise or whatever their Assertive heart desires, while never doing anything to make their position or self-image feel threatened, you’re safe. But this false image they created just for you is also a trap. The moment you renege on this dynamic, it's like that scene in CUBE where the net comes down and slices you into tiny pieces. The fishing net you didn’t notice closing around you, that was shoplifting all of your treasures, pulls taut and cuts through every muscle and bone. And you’re severed in pieces on the ocean floor, wondering what the fuck just happened. Left watching as the 3 floats away with bags of your shiniest “trophies” to applause from the other people they have tangled in their image net of horrors.

As controllers of this net and the flowing waters around it, 3’s control the gaze towards their positive attributes, valuable assets, skills and accomplishments. They became what is desirable, and therefore they feel entitled to acknowledgement, appreciation and rewards - even if those “rewards” are your personal effects. They turned their heart into a 24/7 marketing team and they require compensation for the hard work. They might tell themselves they’re just competing with themselves, but they also want admiration and validation. Without it they wither.

This is how 3’s lose themselves to the entitlement of their Attachment Heart. That quest for ultimate validation turns them into someone who is not even them, tangled up in their own razor-sharp fishing net full of trophies that are now sinking them, weighing them down. A phantom of a xerox of a replica spinning around in a pile of silt. And all of the praise, awards, and riches mean nothing. 

TYPE 4: THE HEART’S STRINGS ARE RUSTY STEEL THAT CUT YOUR FINGERS WHEN YOU TRY AND PLAY A SONG ON THEM

4’s heart strings are pointed inwards, the entrance is hidden, and the strings are taut and rusty like an old guitar’s. They’re soldered directly into the 4’s ribcage with viscera of past heartbreaks and slights interwoven. Their focus is on their own heart and find it difficult to put endless focus on others regardless of what they get in return - because nothing is more rewarding to a 4 than themselves and their private cave of reflective surfaces and tortured ghosts. 

A 4 may have a lover they’re consumed with, but it’s feeding their fantasies with a narrative of some kind of otherworldly romance, that only serves to intensify their active, self-focused melodrama. And this can create tangles in the strings the more another person is involved. If you receive an invitation to the outer cavity of the rose-shaped dungeon ribcage, you’ll never be truly comfortable or alone with your beloved. The rusty steel strings will be cutting into your skin. You’ll be walking around on eggshells and waking up alone in bed to late-night howls in the corridors. And when you investigate what‘s going on at such an ungodly hour, you’ll find your 4 naked and sweaty with a muse (an apparition from the past or future, a freakish fascination, or another person who they “need” for creative fuel). And they’ll throw a jar of paint water at your head for interrupting the love-making process. 

The deeper Type 4 goes into themselves (which is a life-long project), the more burrowed into their own prison they become until it collapses on them like a tomb. There is no exit. Visitors are invaders. 4’s heart is not just deep in the ribcage of self, it’s inside a vault with levels of passwords and symbols and booby traps. And if you try and put your hand in, the acid will get you. Do not confuse this with The Mask of 3 or 9. The 4 isn’t losing themselves to the hustle or connection, they’re not adapting to your face and secretly hiding another personality. They’ve simply crawled so deep inside their own ass that all they can smell is shit. You’ll smell it, too.

Unlike a 3 or a 9, 4’s are not really taking you into themselves. You may have an extended visitor pass, but it is just that - a visitor’s pass. And it’s entirely conditional upon your behavior enabling their MORE PRECIOUS THAN LYFE persona and self-centered activities. This isn’t to be confused with a 3 wanting to feel like the Star or VIP MVP Blah Blah Blah. If you take a broke and unknown 4, their life will probably be quite small and creating some kind of tortured artist existence in a leaky basement in some vacuous city they love to criticize, they drink to excess and eat their paint when they’re depressed, and make their girlfriend (or parents) pay for everything so they can finish some shitty life-altering, deep painting that once they’ve finished it they fucking hate - and they hate you too, dear loved one and supporter - to infinity and beyond. If you take a famous 4, their life may also be insular but they’re likely able to indulge many of the grand fantasies they have of their specialness, and will be able to bank roll ridiculous shit (like Prince and Paisley Park). 

A 4 keeps their strings tight so they can snatch their heart back at any moment. No one truly holds it but the 4. Not to be confused with a 3’s “heartlessness.” 4’s simply can’t allow their heart to stray too far from their own rib cage for too long, before it starts to hiss and ash like a vampire in the sun. And they return to their faithful muse who never abandons them - themselves.

IMAGE CRAFTING - WHO IS ACTUALLY DOING IT? 👁️👄👁️ IS IT FAKE NEWS?

While “Image Types” essentially put forth an “image,” the concept of “image crafting” is (in my opinion) primarily the realm of 3. I’m not sure who came up with this concept, but it seems ancient and deeply embedded in Enneagram discussions spanning many groups. Perhaps this is semantics, but I think this aspect of “image” causes confusion for people who are actually a 3, 6 or 9.

2’s and 4’s don’t curate or “craft” how you see them, they are just aggressively doing their type. And you may misinterpret this “image,” but they’re not going to adjust their image to get the desired effect. They are just going to double-down on what they’re already doing, like a wind-up toy with feet that can only point in one direction. 3’s will adjust to get the desired effect (which is having their value appreciated and worth validated) which involves crafting, curating, adjusting, recreating, reassembling.

Masking, shifting, curating and crafting is the realm of Attachment/Adaptation (3, 6, 9).

All Attachment Types - because they are Adapting - are “crafting” an “image” to a degree. The projected Self is influenced by its surroundings and somewhat (if not wholly) malleable. Even 6’s, who are reactive types and therefore all about “realness” and authenticity do this, too. Because 6’s are adapting in the head center and wanting to find common ground with their chosen group, be liked, accepted or counterphobically backed up by a posse or outlier group - which necessitates a level of self-abandonment. 

3’s are the ones actually “crafting an image” that they are “selling” you. They will fake it ‘til they make it (and this is something that has to be constantly maintained, updated, tweaked, renovated, split-tested and checked for outdated, out-of-fashion or undesirable aspects). 3’s craft their image to get their desired outcome, therefore their image is fluid and malleable (so long as it’s flattering to their Ego). 

2’s and 4’s do their own type to their own detriment. There isn’t crafting involved. Just the same unsightly flea market atrocity, year after year.

2’s embody the nurturer archetype and they cannot veer from their programming, even if it would be to their benefit. A 2w3 may be a social climber (like a 3w2) but they’ll be doing it by ingratiating themselves and making themselves necessary to someone they deem important. A 3w2 can paint themselves as “necessary” to get their foot in the door, but it’s a crafted image to get a desired effect and they will craft a new charming one, moment-to-moment where necessary to get what they want. Because ultimately the 3 wants to be the shiniest and most valuable (not the one doling out cupcakes and kisses).

4’s are their image. They are the (self-inflicted) suffering artist, the embodiment of creativity and depth (in their mind) and even when they’re “with” you, it’s still all about deepening their own experience of self. Not about convincing you they are a certain way or upholding some kind of “image.” The concept of image is actually fucking disgusting to 4’s, because it implies there is something false about them. They may “correct” you if you paint them with the brush of a vapid commoner, but they’re unlikely to elaborate either because you’re not worth the pearls, swine. They may bring their ratty sketchbook with them everywhere they go, but it's in service of them reinforcing their self-image to themselves. You don’t need to witness it (unless they want you to).

Subscribe (it’s free) if reading these unflattering depictions of the types interests you.

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Who is Agent Smith?

Agent Smith is the guy trying to block Neo from leaving The Matrix successfully - from thriving, from freeing others from the Matrix. And he self-replicates. He can takeover any person within this Matrix. And they don’t even know it’s happened. He jumps in any time the Matrix is threatened.

The “Agent Smith Effect” happens when we’re integrating our shadow. Breaking old patterns. Taking steps to leave our comfort zone. Shifting out of Autopilot. Not falling prey to the personality trap. The established IDENTITY. The “if I’m not like this I’m not me, I don’t exist.” Beliefs that came from traumas/emotional events, parents, conditioning.

Agent Smith shows up as fear, resistance, self-doubt, insecurity, shame, guilt, negative beliefs about what’s possible.

Leaving the Comfort Zone

Often our “comfort zone” is deeply uncomfortable but it can feel like the only way to be - a fact. Something that is true. Non-negotiable. “That’s just the way it is.”

Because stepping out of it activates anxiety, our nervous system, a significant emotional charge. It feels dangerous to change. And whenever we take steps towards actualizing our big dreams or changing a pattern/habit/belief that we know is keeping us stuck, the Agent Smith’s come out of the woodwork to keep us trapped in The Matrix aka the comfort zone.

Often when we start to change it can upset people around us. They want to stay in their patterns or panic that they can’t keep up or will be left behind. That you’ll leave them. Outgrow them. Not need them.

I don’t see triggers, obstacles or "Smiths" as something or someone to fear but as a sign that I’m leaving the comfort zone. I’m leaving the frequency of a level of the Matrix. I’m moving closer to my divine frequency and higher self. If there’s something inside of you that has a deep desire and it’s coming from a place of alignment and expansion and not lack or fear, I truly believe that it’s meant for you.

We overcomplicate things. Not on purpose. But these are the first level of Agent Smith’s that are preventing you from leaving the comfort zone. Resistance. Fear. Procrastination.

The next level is - "Ok, I’m gonna do it," and then the livestream craps out. Zoom won’t work. A jackhammer starts outside of your window when you’re trying to record something. Someone cancels. Weird weather events. Obstacles. Detours. Delays. Mercury in Retrograde 3000.

The video is more in-depth (and rambly) if you want to watch that here:

And then you make it through that part of the path, and then the real world Agent Smith’s - people you know, online trolls, whoever - start to rear their hideous heads. Spouting your worst fears at you like literal demons.

If something does happen - do NOT make it mean anything about you and what’s possible for you. Or interpret it as a sign to quit or give up. Hell no. Question your calling? Off the table. Your heart’s desire? Nope. Non-negotiable. These are AGENT FUCKING SMITH’S. And you, my friend, are Neo.

Agent Smith is merely a blip that is actually a SIGN that you’re moving out of your comfort zone and into the RIGHT DIRECTION. And it gets easier. It’s like when you play a video game, how at first it’s kind of difficult to get the hang of and you might have to play a level a few times and then it becomes a breeze. It’s just effortless because you’ve already normalized your system to all the jumps and goombas, you’re familiar with it, it’s whatever. And the part that used to feel hard becomes a walk in the park. And then you get to the next level. And those past fears and limiting beliefs get swallowed up by the demiurge’s recycling bin.

What to Do When You’re Triggered?

Notice how you feel. What sensations are present in your body? What thoughts? Where do you feel those sensations? Do they have a shape or colour?

What happens when you just allow it to be there for 90 seconds, without judging it? What happens when you allow it to be there and you show it some tenderness + unconditional love?

What do your emotions or thoughts tell you that they mean about you? Do these feel empowering, good, supportive, helpful to you?

These self-limiting thoughts can come from younger you (unconsciously trying to protect yourself from future pain - which actually recreates those situations), the fears/beliefs/judgments of people around you, but at the base level it’s also Agent Smith trying to prevent you from leaving the Matrix. The beauty of this is that you can work WITH the code, like Neo. You can become the game genie of your own life and create what YOU want instead of the default program.

So what do you want to believe about yourself, your possibilities and the world? You get to write that program.

How do you believe what you want to believe?

Flip the original belief/thought. Take those crusty thoughts + beliefs (statements like: "I'm a loser") and FLIP THEM (statements like: "I'm the fucking BOMB!!!" or... “I’m the COOLEST FUCKING LOSER IN THE MATRIX!”)

Or what would feel powerful, supportive, empowering, energizing to believe or say instead?

Now say these statements aloud and breathe life into them. Feel how much more empowering this is. Make these beautiful words your mantras for the next week and see what changes.

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we’re doing our type wrong

We’re trying to achieve our type’s “virtue” backwards - by doing our “sin” via the behaviour of our “fixation.” Our “virtue” feels *dangerous* to us (personality trap). 

You might say: “What do you mean I can just be __(virtue)__?”

Our personality/ego creates a tangled web, hoops to jump through, beliefs, blocks, imaginary threats. And that obstacle course is our “fixation.” This is how we do our sin (in order to achieve our “virtue”). Confused yet?

Our ego/type tells us that if we do our “fixation” we will achieve the “virtue.” But it doesn’t work that way. You have to let go of the fixation in order to achieve the virtue.

This is what is known as the Personality Trap. It’s the LIE that keeps the pattern running. It’s the belief that we have to be a certain way to exist. It’s the carrot on the end of the stick that we can never reach. (See more on Personality Traps here).

Obviously it doesn’t work! And the more we try and achieve that “Virtue” (the wrong way) the more we dig into our Personality Trap/Fixation and act out our Vice/Sin.

It’s an elaborate illusion that prevents us from JUST BEING.

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TYPE ONE

Type 1 is trying to achieve “serenity” via “anger” - being overly critical, judgmental, perfectionistic, hunting out what’s bad, wrong, inefficient, unacceptable. By perfecting, judging and correcting they will finally be able to be “serene.”

They seek serenity and release from their ego’s death grip by *fixing* things, others, themselves.

But 1's can *just be*: perfect, free of judgment, good, right, acceptable, efficient, whole by just allowing what is without taking a red pen to it.

This need to achieve serenity is expressed outwardly as anger. 

TYPE TWO

Type 2 is trying to achieve “humility” via “pride” - being overly nurturing, flattering, giving, self-sacrificing, other-oriented and even intrusive in the pursuit of being indispensable and necessary. 

They seek humility and release from their ego’s death grip by fixating on others’ needs and neglecting their own, and becoming needed by others. Because then it “justifies” them finally getting their needs met. (But it actually makes them appear covertly narcissistic, because they often make what other people are doing all about them.)

2's can just give themselves what they want. They don’t need to ingratiate themselves to justify getting their needs and desires met. They need to own their needs instead of getting that justification indirectly.

TYPE THREE

Type 3 is trying to achieve “truthfulness” via “deceit” - by fixating on accomplishments, achievements, their “image”, their value, how they measure up, then they will finally be able to be authentic.

They seek authenticity and release from their ego’s death grip by fixating on what will get them positive attention or will allow them to feel valued, appreciated, loved and/or admired.

But 3's can just be authentic and derive their worth and value from being true to themselves, loving themselves, and inspiring others to do the same. If they let go of the need for external validation, they become free to just be who they are and that is enough.

TYPE FOUR

Type 4 is trying to achieve “equanimity”(even-temperedness) via “envy” - by fixating on authenticity, separation, beauty, horror/darkness, “the truth” (truth of human condition/depth/beauty), then they will finally be  able to be even-tempered, calm, without ill-will or frustration.

They seek equanimity and release from their ego’s death grip by fixating on how different, unique, cursed, deep, romantic, dark, creatively separate they are. Which of course, only serves to do the opposite as they often present as melodramatic, pretentious, moody and cringe-ily “dark.”

But 4's can just be equanimous and derive that sense of “separation”, “depth” and “uniqueness” just by fully embracing that they’re part of the human miasma and their relatability will actually deepen both their experience and their expression. And dare I say, embodying abundance.

TYPE FIVE

Type 5 is trying to achieve “non-attachment” (openness, letting go) via avarice, withholding, hoarding, “objectivity”, logic, competency and specialization. Once they have that on lock, they will finally be able to withstand the intrusive, invasive nature of reality.

They seek non-attachment through means of actualizing some kind of competency concern, a specialization, insight that creates a rejection wall between themselves and the masses. By rejecting entanglements and emotional messiness, it allows them to fend off attacks, invasions, intrusions and having to be part of the proletariat.

But 5's can just be non-attached, open and let go of the fear by normalizing being  present in the human experience that they reject. 

TYPE SIX

Type 6 is trying to achieve “courage” (self-trust) via overdoing security. they do this by outsourcing their thinking to others (experts, institutions, leaders, academia, books, someone they admire, etc) and seeking agreement or support from those around them. Then finally, when they know enough and have garnered enough stability, they can “leave the nest” and confidently trust themselves.

When 6's trust themselves over others, and turn inwards first versus outwards they can build up their courage and become brave warriors and leaders. Security must be found from within, or the feeling of security in the “insecure.” Learning to pull up trust and let go of outcomes, even the worst of circumstances will enable them to become more self-assured.

TYPE SEVEN

Type 7 is trying to achieve “sobriety” (presence, focus, calm, gratitude) via “gluttony” - pursuing many interests, shiny objects, experiences, people. They’re driven by frustration like Goldilocks. They want to find the juiciest peach that will always satiate them. Then finally, they can settle down and be present.

The problem is that there is no juicy, eternal delicious peach. The 7 can only truly experience presence, appreciation, gratitude and freedom by allowing those sensations into the present moment. Appreciating the boring instead of planning the next adventure or pursuit. Staying with what is, instead of what could be. Ingratitude only attracts more frustration and disappointment. So finding the ‘green pastures’ with what they already have is key to 7's actually getting what they want, deep down.

TYPE EIGHT

Type 8 is trying to achieve “innocence” (vulnerability, openness) via “lust”. They overdo power, expansion, acquisition, and domination. Once they finally feel safe in their rejection castle, then they finally allow themselves to let the wounded, vulnerable, innocent child inside out.

It can seem like life or death to let their guard down, but 8's can only truly achieve true leader and protector status by becoming more benevolent and tapping into their innocence, tenderness, care, softness and vulnerability. They have to allow themselves to be attacked, betrayed, and exploited. They’ll find they’re pleasantly surprised by the relationships they can build when they’re not trying to control everyone and everything that might be in their field of view.

TYPE NINE

Type 9 is trying to achieve “action” (aligned and self-propelled) via “sloth”. They overdo inaction, procrastination, dissociating from what they really want, following other people’s agendas in the hopes that they will finally find the sustained motivation to do what they deeply desire and be who they truly want to be.

By putting “inner peace” and “harmony” above their own desires it creates a dissonance in themselves and resentment builds up. It’s important for 9's to locate what they desire, or take actions toward locating it by trying different things that appeal to them (regardless of if it causes short term conflict, rubs someone the wrong way, or causes them discomfort). The more they practice this, the more aligned they become to their true heart’s desires and the more aligned their actions become.

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To watch/listen instead:

One of the main ways you can stop operating out of autopilot, quit the shit patterns and actually get what you want is by:

• Being with the discomfort of not operating out of your personality trap + shadow (being conscious, making different choices, regulating your nervous system in the moment with breath, tapping, affirmations).

• Integrating the opposite of your personality's "belief" (the shadow).

This sounds simple but it actually requires a considerable amount of bravery and determination. Which is why most people who learn the Enneagram don’t actually use it for self-growth. Because it’s more fun to chit chat about and study than to actually apply to our own lives.

The personality’s belief structure creates behaviors and defense mechanisms. These beliefs and behaviors create the shadow. 

The defense mechanisms come from Freud's psychoanalytic theories and have been correlated to Enneagram theory by multiple sources and evolved over time with other people's ideas (Fritz Perls, Oscar Ichazo, Helen Palmer, Naranjo, etc). I won’t be getting into any of that, I’m just going to apply them in how I see them as useful. I’ve also added behaviors that I notice in each of the types.

I’m not sharing these to shame anyone or be judgmental, because we’re ALL doing at least one, if not three or more of these patterns. I’m using the Enneagram as a framework to show you how to spot patterns, unuseful beliefs and shadow at a much quicker pace than if you’re just doing it from just generic journaling prompts or waiting for something to “happen” before you address it. This way you have a pathway to start looking at the problems before your life goes to total shit. 

Each type’s flawed belief (“If I am not ___ I don’t exist /I am not me/I am not safe”) manifests itself through behaviors and actions. 

This process is unconscious. Even if you were aware that you were doing some of this stuff, it’s not your fault. It’s what we were programmed to do. But by integrating our shadow and coming into acceptance and wholeness we get to make better choices, think supportive thoughts, feel better, more useful and aligned feelings. And you can also catch yourself in the act and check yourself before you wreck yourself.

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ENNEAGRAM TYPE 1 - “DADDY”

1’s prefer to see themselves as being conscientious and above the degenerate riff raff. They’re proper, correct and in integrity, therefore they cannot see themselves as lazy, foolish, wrong, messy or "bad.” Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

1’s avoid outwardly expressing anger to remain “objective” and in control. Because expressing “anger” is “bad.” To be imperfect, incompetent, wrong or out-of-control is death to the 1. This mechanism reinforces the 1's ego because it assures them that they are right, proper, perfect, and correct. Therefore, their survival and identity continues. However, because the 1 is an anger/gut type, they’re constantly churning irritation factories.

If the 1 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 1 utilizes “anger” they are unlikely to allow themselves to see themselves as incorrect, in the wrong, imperfect. 

How this manifests:

• Reaction Formation: 1’s can express the opposite of their actual feelings and desires. They do this to reinforce their ego as “not being angry” (being perfect, right, correct, proper, good). Expressing anger is “bad” or what people who have no self-control do. 

• Channeling unexpressed anger into physical activities - going hog wild on cleaning, obsessively exercising, restricting food/hedonistic delights, perfectionism fixations, taking a red pen to their life.

• Criticality + judgmental concerns projected onto people around them, for their “own good.” To the 1 they’re being responsible, doing the right thing. 

• Splitting: Seeing things in black and white under stress (this is good, this is evil). In super low health this can lead to extreme behaviors, like witch-hunting, finger-pointing, being the ‘voice of God’ / judge, jury and executioner.

• Rationalization: 1's can rationalize to justify their self-righteousness. “This is the most correct, right, or efficient way to do the thing, therefore I am right and you are wrong.” If you don’t do what I say, it will be to your own detriment.

• Hypocrisy: Projecting their own denied desires, feelings and even private behaviors by condemning the same desires, feelings and behaviors in others. They know the right way to be, and you are not being it. They can become preachy about whatever they take issue with, in order to unconsciously overcompensate for their secret bad behavior or naughty thoughts. This ties directly to Shadow Work, because 1's and 1-fixers can have a pungent Shadow full of all kinds of misdeeds and “dark” desires, but be totally blind to them while criticizing others for the same things.

  • Example: The anti-gay politician who is having an affair with a man, or the barbiturate-poppin' mom who wages a neighborhood campaign against drugs. 

• OCD: Obsessively creating more order and rightness in their physical environment, relationships, or self. They can go into “perfecting” mode in order to feel in control of something they cannot control, where they exert order onto their surroundings and right wrongs (like becoming obsessed with cleanliness in their home or laying out ‘rules’ that others must follow). 

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 2 - “MOMMY”

2’s prefer to see themselves as being loving, nurturing, selfless, self-sacrificing, caring towards others, concerned and kind-hearted. Therefore they cannot see themselves as selfish, self-centered, giving to get, cold, heartless or "bad”. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

2’s avoid feeling selfish or needy, by refusing to directly ask to get their needs met or receive what they truly wish from others. 2's unconsciously repress these needs and desires to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are self-sacrificing, needed, good and loving. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 2 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 2 utilizes “pride” they are unlikely to allow themselves to wallow or even acknowledge any wrongdoing or selfishness on their part. It’s the other person’s fault, the 2 is blameless.

How this manifests:

• Repression: 2’s hide their needs and "selfish" desires from themselves in order to maintain their caring and indispensable self-image. They use Repression to AVOID feeling needy, unnecessary or rejected. Because of their type structure, they can't see how they are in need of anyone else's help or how they are anything other than self-sacrificing. They cover up these feelings with flattery, offers of help, being intrusive and overly nice. 

• 2’s prioritize others’ needs in the hopes someone will prioritize theirs. But then when that happens, the 2 goes into rejection mode and wants to get back into position as ‘the helper’ as that’s where their identity is invested.

• The 2 projects their needs onto those around them by being overly helpful or intrusive. If they feel like they're not being appreciated or getting their needs met, they can move into covertly "punishing" behaviors to the person they keep giving to or subconsciously create situations in which the person might be forced to give back to them.

  • Example: The 2 wants help cleaning from their spouse, so over-cleans to the point where they become ill so that their partner is forced to pick up the slack or show them care for all of their self-sacrificing. This can also manifest in ways like them offering to do something and then making the other person wait to receive if they are feeling secretly resentful or not shown adequate appreciation or having their self-image adequately validated.

• In low health, 2’s can use “Identification” to take on the needs and worries of those around them as if it’s theirs. They become fretful over other people’s problems. Anything that hurts their loved one hurts them. And it becomes covertly narcissistic, wherein they can make someone else’s suffering about themselves, but also their wins. “If it wasn’t for my help, they wouldn’t have accomplished that.” They can secretly (or not secretly) want undue credit for “help” they’ve provided (whether solicited or not).

• 2’s use “Reframing” in collaboration with “Repression.” They can reframe their intentions (to maintain a pride in their pure and loving intentions) and reframe others intentions too, lest it burst the sugar-coated bubble they’re desiring to live in or reflect back to them that they’re unwanted.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 3 - “SHAPESHIFTER”

3’s like to see themselves as impressive, competent, successful and admired or valued for what they do or are. Therefore they cannot see themselves as losers, failures, or less than others. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

3’s avoid feeling like a failure or worthless by adapting to external ideals, competing, and striving. 3's unconsciously use “Identification” to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are valuable, worthy, admired and successful. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 3 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 3 utilizes “deceit” they are unlikely to allow themselves to own their failings or true feelings if it interferes with the image they’re projecting.

How this manifests:

• 3's use "Identification" as a defense mechanism, by unconsciously assimilating with the "other." They use this to avoid feeling like a failure. How this shows up is that they take on the traits, characteristics, attributes, aesthetics, preferences, values and mannerisms of important people in their life, groups, people they see as valuable and those they admire or envy. They do this to create an image of success (to themselves and/or others).

• Denial/Projection: 3’s can blame others for their failures or what isn’t working for them, offloading image fails onto others to distance themselves from shame. Just like they can take on others traits/behaviors/stories, they can offload those same things onto others as well. 

• Deception: This collection of traits is their "self image" and where their ego and self-worth resides, and because their external sources and what is valued may change, it can give 3's a shapeshifter quality depending on who or what they're surrounded by, what they value, what they do. Underneath this layer of shiny baubles is still a 'shame type' and so without this sometimes fragile self-image being upheld they are but a raw, shameful nerve. Because of this, they can lose contact with their own internal compass, needs, desires and their authentic self. They prioritize what gets them those positive hits and bolsters their ego/self-image. They can be totally asleep to this inner incongruence, and be deceiving themselves, especially in lower levels of health.

• Numbing/Workaholism: 3’s can use numbing so they don’t get stuck in the emotional swamp and become unproductive. They can power down the “I’m a failure, I’m upset, I’m emotional” aspect and power up the drive to override emotional slop that might get in their way. They might override this with going hard into working around the clock, substances, shopping/spending a lot or doing something flashy to bolster their self-image. 

• Competition: 3’s can get caught up in competition, using others as a stepping stone or a way to boost their own image by comparison (“see how much better of a job I’m doing than Ted.”) They might do this to the point where they end up chasing someone else’s dreams and totally shooting themselves in the foot.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 4 - “DISDAINFUL DEPRESSIVE”

4’s like to see themselves as separate, uniquely flawed, deep, and the special exception. Therefore they cannot see themselves as mundane, relatable, ordinary, adaptable, or even for many 4’s functional. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

4’s avoid feeling mundane, ordinary, relatable, shallow, functional or happy. 4's unconsciously self-sabotage and focus on the negative and what’s frustrating, to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are deep, different, uniquely flawed and unlike anyone else. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 4 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 4 utilizes envy (what is missing) they are unlikely to allow themselves to see where they are functional, relatable, understandable or even happy. They subconsciously craft a self-image that rejects any "positive" information about themselves that comes into conflict with this existing "negative" image.

How this manifests:

• Introjection: Introjection is presented as absorbing another person's identity or feelings (like a parent) and transferring it to themselves. However, it's more nuanced and specific than that for 4’s. 4's aren't just taking in any old information, they're unconsciously taking in evidence that they are broken, estranged, alien, fucked up and damaged - and this is great news to them. While the external world may be giving the 4 fuel, their experience has almost nothing to do with the outside world. The outside world is just serving to fuel the 4's internal narrative. The 4 weaves these evidentiary mementos into a story. They identify with specific negative traits that reinforce that they are separate, rare, deeply flawed so as to never quite be understood or capable of being happy and functional.

• They do this unconsciously as a way to cope with the pain of feeling broken, unwanted, dysfunctional and different. They weave the negative narratives into their identity and shape it into a way that makes them feel in control of it, to project depth and meaning onto it vs someone or something outside of themselves creating their story and making it shallow. The more they associate into this negative state, the more dysfunctional they can become and the more it supports their type's ego structure. Without these narratives they feel naked and non-existant. Because their self-image is inherently negative, they are “positively” associated with being in a negative, frustrated, unsatisfied state.

• Idealization: Idealizing people or situations as a way to generate feelings to pull the 4 away from the mundane reality/experience. This idealization is a frustration pattern designed to keep them in a loop of disappointment and longing because nothing will ever live up to what they hope, something will always be missing and the 4 can never truly actualize or be happy as a result. And if it is everything they’ve ever wanted, the 4 is likely to find something wrong anyway or create a problem where there is none.

• As a result, the 4 might self-sabotage opportunities that would actually aid them in being functional, capable, happy, or get them what they claim they want. They may discard things, people, ideas, pursuits if they feel too easy, cheap, relatable, mundane. Or keep churning up issues and provocations that will lead to them being able to say, “see, I never get to have what I want.” Or “I knew no one would understand.”

• Splitting: 4’s reject what’s “not me” and often find what’s not to their tastes or “not me” disgusting. Everything that’s not in the frustrated realm that the 4 approves of is superficial, shallow, ugly, vapid, horrible, etc. For the faceless masses, not the 4. Being at odds with reality helps reinforce their self-identity. I’m not like that, therefore I’m deep.

• Because 4’s are usually creative or self-identify with the idea of being an artist/writer/creative, their tragically romantic, broken and disdainful views can be expressed through their art. They may overdo it in making it unpalatable or abstract. Or if they become popular they may self-sabotage their own success or self-image by being provocative, turning on their fans/the public, becoming moody, self-destructive or unpredictable. They’ll likely move away from what is expected or desired by their fanbase, even if they secretly desire an audience. Or maybe they’ll over-specify how they present themselves and shroud themselves in mystery in a way that others cannot easily relate to, they can only *bear witness.*

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 5 - “BRUNDLEFLY”

5’s like to see themselves as insightful, competent, self-sufficient, independent and objective. Therefore they cannot see themselves as emotional, human, helpless or dependent on others. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

5’s avoid feeling dependent on others, helpless, depleted, or engulfed in the messy world. 5's unconsciously retreat inwards and withhold energy and information, detach, and compartmentalize to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are competent, objective, smarter than everyone else and above the mortal coil. 

Because the 5 utilizes avarice (hoarding inner resources) they are unlikely to allow themselves to allow themselves to be put in a position where they are “needed” for anything outside of the scope of their specific interest/competency focus, or entangle themselves with hot messes (people or situations). Of all the types, this is maybe the one that is least likely to give a shit if they have a shadow, tbh.

How this manifests:

• Isolation: 5’s retreat and protect their inner sanctum from being invaded or picked clean by the outside world. They use isolation to avoid dependence on others or having to be interlaced with their chaotic whims and needs which may disrupt what the 5 would rather be doing with their time (some kind of mind pursuit). They may design their entire lives to protect themselves against intrusion.

• Detachment: 5’s use detachment as a means to cope when they feel overwhelmed. They disconnect from and retreat from their own and others’ unstable feelings. In order to feel competent and safe and conserve their mental resources, they can cut all contact or need for the outside world.

• They use ‘rejection’ methods of cutting off and compartmentalizing to ensure they’re not swallowed up in the messy ass human bullshit of this humdrum existence. This may show up as minimizing their needs (physical, relational, financial, emotional). They’re the most likely to live in some secret, off-grid tiny home. Not the one with all the gardens and crops and goats, but the one that has the bare minimum to survive where they can focus on their studies or whatever their mental obsession is, far away from other people. 

• They can have totally hidden worlds within worlds that others know nothing about. Each world dangerously close to being lopped off at a moment’s notice if the 5 sees no use for it anymore. They dump all of their energy into their main pursuit because it’s where they feel “safe” and valuable, and so the outside world interfering with that feels like an attack on their very existence. By overdoing this one area of “competency” they can actually make themselves unable to actually be independent or functional. So to them they may seem overly competent, but to the outside world they may seem bizarre and dysfunctional.

• 5’s use compartmentalization of emotions, energy, and relationships. Separating their thoughts from feelings, and putting people into boxes to be dealt with or utilized instead of truly connected to. This can have a dehumanizing effect on the people around them who don’t want to only interact with the 5 when they have the inner resources or only interact with them on narrow and specific terms. By doing this, the 5 effectively shuts out having to deal with whatever they don’t want to but also hacks off pieces of their own heart, spirit, and humanity which is the only true place to create and mine for the insights and independence they seek.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6 - “CITIZEN EMO”

6’s like to see themselves as loyal, hardworking, just a regular person, authentic, responsible, fair and connected to the family/community/tribe, etc. Therefore they cannot see themselves as bad, traitorous, pompous or “too good.” Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

6’s avoid feeling unsafe, uncertain or abandoned in their attachments and support systems (physical, group, partner). 6's unconsciously seek security/safety (and dangers), truth (and lies) and support systems they can trust and rely on to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are accepted, part of the tribe, safe, secure, supported and prepared. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 6 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 6 utilizes “fear” (and anxiety) they are unlikely to allow themselves to relax, ease up, stop hunting for discrepancies or what could go wrong.

How this manifests:

• Projection: 6’s project their worst fears and worst case intentions onto other people. They’re always sniffing out danger in the world and in their connections. Who’s being disloyal? Who’s up to no good? They can engage in investigative, gossipy behaviors, seeking out clues of their worst fears. Sometimes they project their own behaviors, feelings and thoughts onto others and then fear being blamed or accused (which leads to projecting).  

• On the flipside, they can project idolization fantasies onto “experts”, simping people who they can put all their trust and outsource their thinking to. They do this to create certainty within themselves. 

• Worst Case Scenario: Projections can also show up as “predictions” where the 6 may anticipate the worst and then by overfocusing on this negative outcome, they manifest it into reality. Their worst case scenario becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. (“See! I knew the basement was going to flood!” Or “See! I knew you’d cheat on me!”) This churning distrust has them always on the hunt, and never feeling safe. 

• Splitting: Like other types they can see things in “black and white”, good or bad, you’re with me or against me. 6’s can be tribal and overly-identified to their “side” - whether that’s ideologically, politically, religiously or just in their general friend groups.

• Outsourcing anxiety: They can overdose on anxiety in order to reach equilibrium. They project their internal anxieties into the outside world in the hopes that someone else will solve the problem for them. Like constantly bringing people’s attention to the negative or what could go wrong. They cannot rest until someone else validates and matches their concern. They want help to deal with the problem (real or imagined) and for someone else to assuage their fears. 

• Redirect overwhelming fears from one source onto another source that they feel is easier to manage (like a loved one, peer, boss).

• Rebellion: 6’s can get anti-authoritarian when their trust is broken, they’re disappointed, or they engage in “splitting.” They can be mega social justice warriors and fight for what is “right”, but in doing so they can totally lose perspective and go so hard in fighting for justice that they actually become the bad guy.

• 6’s can also be hypochondriacs with their anxiety. Excessive worrying, creating symptoms and scenarios out of the ether. They can circle the drain, fixating on problem after potential problem. They can literally bring forth a potential health catastrophe into reality with constant focus on it. This paranoia can manifest in many ways, but sometimes they’re right!

• Self-deprecation: They also may use self-deprecation or humor, or presenting as an “underdog” as a way to deflect being targeted or being seen as too big for their britches. They can project this onto other with a ‘tall poppies’ or ‘crabs in the bucket’ mentality.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 7 - “MAD HATTER HEDONIST”

7’s like to see themselves as interesting, exciting, innovative, individualistic, creative and fun. Therefore they cannot see themselves as boring, normal, part of the grind or a downer. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

7’s avoid feeling trapped, limited, stifled, cut off and bored. 7's unconsciously seek new, interesting people/things/situations/interests to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are fascinating, buoyant, original and compelling creatures. Therefore their survival continues.

Because the 7 utilizes “gluttony” they are unlikely to allow themselves to stagnate for too long, moving onto the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

How this manifests:

• Rationalization: Which means the 7 can subconsciously (or consciously) rationalize away shitty behaviors and dodge responsibility. They are usually averse to their specific flavours of what is “painful” and will reframe reframe reframe themselves up up up and away from whatever that source of “pain” is. Whether it’s the guilt of doing something awful, or the fall-out of saying something flippantly, or the consequences of a thoughtless action. They’re especially prone to rationalizing if making the pain conscious means they’re not able to do, be or have something they desire. 

• Distraction: They go into distraction seeking mode via hedonism, intellectual stimulation, adventures, extreme sports, partying, being totally manic and creating for 3 days straight, shopping, etc when they want to avoid discomfort, pain, boredom.

• Repression: They use repression to bury negative emotions (in whatever flavour they despise) and push away anything that makes them feel like they’ve been victimized. 7’s can be emotional and melodramatic but it’s in the flavour they find the most interesting. They’re not here to be a boring victim or cry themselves to sleep every night over a loser.

• Anticipation/Planning: They can over idealize an outcome to the point where they are more about getting the dopamine hits off anticipation than actually doing the thing or seeing whatever their harebrained scheme is through to completion.

• Entitlement: 7’s can be massive brats about getting what they want. As frustration types they’re often focused on what they don’t have and what they want, but because they’re assertive they’re more likely to chase after it, expect it to be given to them, or push people out of the way to get it.

• Pleasure-seeking/Hedonism: 7’s reject that which is not pleasurable because there’s nothing in it for them. When 7’s get into this “thank you, next” pattern it can become impossible for them to actualize or stick to something long enough for them to enjoy the fruits of all their initial excitement. The sparkle fades and there’s nothing tasty for the 7 to stick around and lick, so they’re likely to start looking for something else.

• Rebellion: Like 6’s, 7’s can also be rebellious, but their reasons for rebelling are likely centered around freedom (literally or freedom of expression), anti-censorship, pro-individuality/individual choice. They can also just rebel for the hell of it if they’re bored, or if there are hot people associated with a cause.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 8 - “FINAL BOSS”

8’s like to see themselves as powerful, invulnerable, independent, intimidating IDGAF leaders. Therefore they cannot see themselves as weak, under someone else’s heel, being controlled, powerless or soft. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

8’s avoid feeling weak, vulnerable, powerless, small or allowing anything to threaten them. 8's unconsciously deny vulnerabilities and weaknesses to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are indeed powerful and no one can or will fuck with them. Therefore their survival continues.

Because the 8 utilizes “lust” they are unlikely to allow themselves to put themselves in a position where they could be steamrolled, deprived, slowed down or made small or powerless.

How this manifests:

• Denial: 8’s use “Denial” by rejecting their own vulnerabilities or weaknesses. This can show up as denying emotions, fears, thoughts that don’t serve the 8’s ego identification of being powerful. They can also completely deny the existence of any perceived weak points that an “enemy” could use against them. If possible, they will lop off anyone or anything that causes them agitation (people, situations) or seems like a threat to their inner or outer sanctuary that they’ve created.

• Rejection/Coldness: They can view softness and receptivity as death. If they weaken for a moment, they’ll get screwed over or tricked.

• Reaction Formation: 8’s can express the opposite of how they feel. So they can feel really hurt but act like they’re emotionally impervious. You have no effect on the 8. You don’t matter. If you’ve wounded their steel heart, you’ll pay the price. Like the 7 they can deny victimhood, but they might personally feel quite slighted and seek revenge to get the ball back in their court, the power back in their hands, for how the person made them feel.

• Aggression/assertiveness: 8’s can take up space and project an air of confidence in order to pre-defend against would-be attacks. Showing up with big bear or chaos demon energy ensures no one will fuck with them and that they’ll get what they want. Therefore they can be domineering, bossy, straight-shooters. My way or the highway.

• Control/conquering: 8’s can be hyper controlling and even paranoid, depending on their position and the situation. They can take on the role of puppetmaster or dictator, to ensure things happen according to their plan and they’re not at the whims of someone else or underneath someone else’s thumb.

• Justification: 8’s can be impulsive with their anger and feeling absolutely justified. The desired effect can be to crush whatever is pissing them off with their brutality and force.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 9 - “SOOTHING SQUISH”

9’s like to see themselves as chill, empathetic, caring, supportive and deep. Therefore they cannot see themselves as provocative, disruptive, thoughtless, aggressive or selfish. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

9’s avoid feeling in conflict and stressed out. 9's unconsciously seek to be in harmony and flow with those around them and their environment to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are chill, harmonious and connected.

If the 9 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 9 utilizes “sloth” they are unlikely to allow themselves to just get after it, make demands, make bold moves.

How this manifests:

• Narcotization/Dissociation: 9’s use narcotization which means to numb, to ease discomfort. This can manifest in multiple ways, falling asleep at the wheel of life - outsourcing decisions, independence, physical needs, to others. It can also show up as losing yourself in mindless side-tasks instead of just dealing with problems. They can dissociate from problems by numbing their heart and mind to what’s in front of them, or to just hope it resolves itself without any involvement or disruption to the 9’s existence.

• 9’s repress their anger in favor of keeping peace. They can be really annoyed and not able to verbalize it until it reaches a crisis point for the 9. The other person may be totally shocked when it happens, especially if the 9 kept telling them that everything was fine.

• Passive Aggression: 9’s express how they feel indirectly and hoping the person picks up on their subtle cues without them having to generate conflict. This can also just slip out subconsciously through offhand comments, looks, tone or behaviors. And when confronted with it, they’ll likely recede into a mist and say nothing’s wrong.

• 9’s can also use “positive reframing”, not unlike 7, but theirs is more used as a numbing agent, smoothing out a dire situation or other people’s malintent, rudeness, or shitty behavior so it doesn’t result in conflict or upset.

• Outsourcing: 9’s often give their power away, instead of asking for what they want or expressing themselves without being prompted. They can become disappointed when others fail to mind-read or intuit their needs without them having to assert themselves or vocalize it.

• Self-Forgetting: Because 9’s can dance around their location in order to keep the peace and not lose connection, they can forget what they want or how they really feel about something.

• Merging: Like 3’s, 9’s merge with the people around them, often taking on their interests, aesthetics, values and even mannerisms. However the 9 isn’t doing it to become an ideal and compete for validation, they do it because they over-identify with the idealized other to create harmony and melt into them.

• 7’s and 9’s can both procrastinate and get lost in multiple fantasies of possibilities, but the difference is that the 7 is likely taking an active, assertive approach and throwing spaghetti at the wall, whereas the 9’s dreams can fade away if they don’t have another person holding them accountable or a job to show up for or something external. 

• Ghosting: Instead of just saying “no,” often 9’s will be vague or give a “maybe” or “sure” if they don’t know their location in the moment or don’t want to rock the boat. And then they’ll disappear when followed up with.  

SELF-REFLECTION PROMPTS (FOR JOURNALING)

• Did you cringe at any of the behaviors listed? did you recognize any of these in yourself?

• write out which ones you recognized. no judgment. it's not "you", it's just behaviors Created out of your personality's false belief. Unpack them. go back to the situation. what were you feeling at the time? what was running through your mind?

• What did you need to know in that moment to feel totally safe and make a different choice?

• What different choice can you make next time?

• What would be the worst thing someone could say about you or make you feel? 

• Is there anything in your life that you can see as you trying to avoid this being said about you, control people's perceptions, or avoiding feeling?

• Can you accept this behavior in yourself right now, forgive yourself, and choose to be more consciously aware?

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The concept of the “Shadow Self” is a Carl Jung original, although I don’t care much for the background of anything I’m interested in, so that concludes your history lesson. Distilled gold or bust.

The “Shadow” is essentially what we, as humans, deny or reject in ourselves. The “bad” or “good” qualities that we revile or relish. The Shadow can be what doesn’t gain us acceptance, parts of ourselves we were told were nasty, or parts that got us the kind of attention we despise, and so we unceremoniously stuffed them into the Shadow. BUT It’s also what we idealize in others, as if it's something we are unable to access. This process is largely unconscious, as our ego automatically shoves what’s undesirable into the Shadow, and highlights what’s desirable (in whatever frame that manifests for you, personally).

Why would we push traits we admire in others into our shadow? We may have been shamed, humiliated, chastised, or put in other “dangerous” feeling situations as a result of those traits. Like if you have a fear of standing out it’s probably because something negative happened in your past as a result - like a pack of envious girls kicked you out of your friend group or your parent made you feel like shit.

When our shadow is activated by a person or situation, it can show up as “triggers”, bursts of reactivity or projections. We can feel immobilized by terror, envy, shame or anger. It can literally paralyze you, often pulsating out of your chest, rising up to your face in red hot heat… you go into fight or flight. Or sometimes on a lower level, it just shows up as being illogically reactive and hostile or overly annoyed at someone or some situation. But it’s often where our principles, ego and self-righteousness reside. The absolutely non-negotiable terrain that you firmly plant your feet in each and every single day.

You might encounter someone out in the wild, socially, or at work - and they rub you the wrong way. You end up stewing on what a piece of shit they are for hours, and how you can’t believe someone can behave in such an abhorrent way. However, it’s possible they’re simply reflecting your Shadow back at you.

The Shadow is what you deny about yourself, or simply deny yourself, and project onto others. Another way of looking at the Shadow is as your repressed “Id”; the urges, desires and impulses (both libidinal and destructive) that you stifle and deny expression. And the more you repress these urges and desires, the bigger the Shadow gets.

Part 2 ☯ 👹 How Does Our Shadow Affect Our Lives? (a short example)

Imagine, if you will, a little boy named Billy Joe. He grows up as part of the proletariat. His pa, Alvin, works twelve hour days, and doesn’t like his job none but it’s an honest livin’ and he cain’t do nuthin’ to change it. “It’s how it is for us folks.” He gets home and puts his stinking socks up on the rotting ottoman and only interacts with his family insofar as he can bark at them to get him another cold one from the fridge. At dinner time, ma serves up the Honey Boo Boo ‘sketti special or maybe on nights when she’s feeling generous of spirit, boiled wieners with the fancy mustard.

Now there’s an uncle, let’s call him Uncle Rick. He didn’t settle for less like his brother Alvin, and when they are forced to see him each year over Christmas he causes quite a stir. Rick dares to have a “career.” He’s confident. He keeps himself in shape. He’s coiffed. He smells pleasant and doesn’t shrink to fit in with his low-striver siblings or parents. Maybe he has a young, attractive wife. He’s frivolous with his money and thinks nothing of picking decadent, over-priced alcohol for the big torturous Christmas event. His signature move is rolling up late in a flashy new car, while announcing his presence by dramatically wrapping up some deal on his cell phone. And while he might impress Billy Joe, the child also notices the eye rolls, groans and quiet comments from the rest of the family. Uncle Rick is so selfish, braggadocious, a scumbag city slicker.

Depending on Billy Joe’s personality type, or perhaps his age, he might interpret this information to mean that confident, successful men are hateable demons. This is internalized and goes into his Shadow. As he struggles to gain acceptance and love from his bloated alcoholic pa, he might unconsciously repeat these familial patterns - end up in a job he despises, drinking to dull the pain, and hating anyone he sees living their life in a more ostentatious or individualistic way. He may view others' successes through an envious or defeated lens, thinking it’s not possible for “us folks.” Maybe he gets a raise at work but is too embarrassed to share it over one of those Christmas dinners, for fear of rejection from his father. His Shadow keeps him small.

Now, if little Billy Joe is a totally different type of person, he might grow up despising his pa and internalize “working class” people, or viewing people with lower standards of living to be putrid and weak. He may seek to distance himself as much as he can from his family’s image. He now only eats fine, organic food. The mere smell of cheap beer makes him nauseous. Unlike Uncle Rick, BJ’s too ashamed to bring his hot wife to meet his undignified family. In Billy Joe’s Shadow lies the fear of failure, being broke, being seen as a worthless, weiner-eating loser. He sees someone struggling in the cold, shaking a mug for coins, and stares at them derisively for daring to pollute his short walk between Starbucks and the lavish tower he’s a CEO.

Part 3 ☯ 👹 The Shadow, The Ego + Self-Image

The Ego, which is Freud’s concept, is the protective mechanism we utilize to prevent us from experiencing pain, shame, humiliation, danger and any other rotten thing that threatens our self-image – which ironically is what CAUSES us pain, shame and humiliation. The Ego is our identity and where we can be deeply wounded. Much like the Shadow, the Ego’s purpose is to keep us “safe”. However, the rules and limiting beliefs created by the Ego become prison bars as we get older. They limit us from our full potential, prevent us from changing and from being truly self-aware.

The Ego is who you THINK you are. It’s a construct. A self-image. It’s what you tell yourself about yourself in the negative and positive. It’s your IDENTITY. It’s the “you” that you’re conscious of. You’re probably proud of these traits, as it’s the part of you that you feel “safe” or positive with identifying as “you”.. Like I can ask you - describe yourself in a sentence. You might say - Well I’m Suzie, I love kids/kids love me, I love cooking/cookin loves me, I give the best back rubs - oh yeah - and I’m a tenured secretary at Burn the World Acquisitions + Mergers.

THe Shadow is the parts of you that you do *not* identify as you, that you reject or envy. The Shadow is largely unconscious, The Ego is more conscious. It’s what you think you are or need to be in order to survive in this world. The Ego wants you to be what it thinks makes you “safe” - even if that’s not true.

Much like the Shadow, when your Ego boundary is butted up against it can become reactive, hostile and destructive. It’s the piece of you that believes with total certainty that you are a specific way, or you must be a specific way to survive. Anything that threatens that belief or image is “bad” or threatening.

Example - Maybe you have a strong conviction that you are the World’s Sexiest Man Alive. It’s how you define yourself. You oil yourself up with Sandalwood essence and perform extraordinary glute acrobatics in the large ornate mirrors mounted over your bed and on every wall. You are perfection. That’s great that you have that self-belief - it’s positive. But what happens when it’s threatened?

You’re the WSMA and then you meet a man who, somehow, is even sexier and not only that but is younger and richer. That cannot be. Your Ego will seek to crush him - whether it’s by trying to get outside opinions that you are indeed the sexiest one of all, or by pushing him as far out of your field of consciousness as possible. What if you can’t though? What if he gets hired at the same corporate Hellscape as you? Or your wife’s eyes linger a little too long on his biceps and she gets his number for business reasons. You can’t escape it. he becomes the star of The World’s Next Top Sexiest Man Alive. It’s possible murderous delights will dance through your head as you inevitably spiral into self-destruction. Unless, of course, you realize what’s happening and *sparkle emoji* heal and integrate *sparkle emoji*.

To the same token, if your ego is wrapped up in a more “negative” self-image, like say you identify as an unlucky fucker. A sad sack. You’d describe yourself as the World’s Unluckiest Lady Alive. Then when experiences, and information, and opportunities to the contrary appear in your life that you actually you could change, be happy, life could get better for you, you have skills, people like you - then your Ego will actively work to sabotage you. Basically. So if you find yourself in these negative self-image loops - this is why. Because your Ego has positively identified with a “negative self-image” and to think of yourself and believe the opposite for you is true, feels threatening.

👹 What is your Enneagram shadow type? 👹

You have an enneagram type in each center (head, heart, gut) and a wing on each of those types. The wing is the type on either side - so if you’re a 7, you would either be a 7w6 or a 7w8.

These wings create our “shadow” - an aspect of ourselves that we have access to but either reject, abhor or envy in others - because we don’t really see or acknowledge those elements so much in ourselves. So if you’re a type 9 with an 8 wing, you might see other people doing 8-ish behaviors - like being assertive, taking up a lot of space, streamrolling, being controlling - and it might trigger you, upset or annoy you, or you might wish to be more like that and therefore it creates a kind of envy.

The irony is, you do have access to those behaviors, they’re just in your shadow. And we have that in each center. So, if you have a 4w3 in your heart center, even if it’s not your core type, you will have an awareness of what your wing is doing in the heart or “image center”.

4’s are overly self-indulgent and inwardly self-focused and in a constant state of separateness, and often find 3-ish behavior’s of self-promoting, putting themselves out there, networking, social climbing, greasing people’s wheels, adapting to ideals - to be totally grotesque and cringe. Or the 4 heart may envy their shameless ability to do these things as the 4, even if not the core type, so a fix, still has access to it and can behave this way - they just cannot see it in themselves.

And if in your head center, if you have a 6w7, you have “superego” in the head center which is giving you an awareness of rules, morality, doing what’s right, how what you do impacts others or the people you care about, the collective, and unconsciously seeking a kind of baseline consensus or agreement - and because this is also the “fear” center - you are seeking security in your dominant instinct (social, sexual, or self-pres). So when you see 7’s or 7 fixers out there being chaotic and feeling the rules don’t apply to them, just making shit up on the fly, not caring about how what they say or do affects others, it can be both or either triggering/annoying or something you wish you had access to. “If only I could be so confident and careless.” But again, you also have access to that, you just don’t necessarily see it.

So you have a core type, a trifixation/trifix,, and then you have your shadow type… what you loathe, envy, ignore or are annoyed by… can you see your shadow? What do you dislike or like about what you see?

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What is a “belief”?

Beliefs are things we assume to be true - about ourselves, others, the world, what's possible and not possible, etc. But they can be only partially true, false or straight up lies.

Beliefs can be ingrained into us by our family in our early years, teachers, peers, TV/media, and we just accept them as fact. We have no reason to question them, or if we do, we might get scolded or made to feel stupid. Often they're to keep us safe or with the intention of helping - and they may serve this purpose when we're younger, but may not as adults. They work in reverse, too. Maybe you hate your family so you believe the opposite of whatever they tell you - also creating a belief. (ex: “Rich people are terrible.” You decide to become rich, because fuck those tv-dinner eating, indolent assholes you unfortunately share DNA with.)

Beliefs can also be created by significant emotional events - positive and negative. They can be created by culture, family income level, the neighborhood you grew up in, literally everything.

What is a “limiting belief”?

Limiting beliefs are beliefs that we hold onto that keep us stuck or held back from our dreams, what we want, our next level. Because they were created in our youth, they become our comfort zone - even if they're uncomfortable. They tell us that we don't get to have what we want, we don't get to be who we want, we don't get to do what we want.

Limiting beliefs can be especially intense when linked to a significant emotional event, trauma or our IDENTITY (which can be our personality type).

The way our unconscious and subconscious mind works is that it will look to reinforce what we believe. So if we believe something limiting, toxic or detrimental to us, our mind will work to create these situations. This is why we can play out trauma patterns over and over. It's not conscious, obviously. We're not intentionally trying to harm ourselves.

Traumas and past experiences can be healed or treated. However, when the belief originates at the personality - or IDENTITY - level it feels EXTRA dangerous and high stakes.

The personality type is how we EXPRESS and COPE with our beliefs, shadow, experiences, programming, trauma.

It also dictates the kinds of beliefs we may take on or how we can interpret specific situations that other types interpret differently.

What is a “personality trap”?

The "personality trap" is a belief so strong that it's on the identity level. It feels like life or death. Some of it may be conscious, but most of it will likely be completely unconscious (unless you've been doing self-work for a while).

This "trap" (belief) generates the coping strategy that your Enneagram type employs to its own detriment. This strategy is designed to get you what you want, but it's actually what prevents you from having, being or doing what you want.

*insert scream emoji* 

*rewind*

say what?

These beliefs, strategies (and resulting behaviors) attract and repel scenarios that reinforce the belief and identity structure. So this can happen around trauma and generic beliefs, but it can also work to reinforce the ego structure of your personality type. Especially in low health.

Usually if we get to the “low health” point of our personality, it’s because life isn’t working out how we wanted or we feel triggered a lot. And each type has baked in triggers regardless of past traumas or experiences. When we're in that triggered state, we play out our Enneagram patterns on autopilot.

These patterns reinforce themselves - "positively" and "negatively". When the personality becomes unhealthy, it can double down on the behaviours, pushing itself even further away from what it wants, in pursuit of what it wants, without realizing that's what it's doing.

By overdoing the predominant fear or belief of the type, you make it unattainable.

Each Enneagram Type's fear stems from the subconscious belief that if they are NOT this way (chasing after their personality's "passion") that their very existence is in jeopardy.

Their personality trap - or it's lie - feels like TRUTH because the Ego believes it needs to be there to be safe: "This is the only way I can safely exist."

Therefore the personality trap becomes its own self-fulfilling prophecy if it's not brought into conscious awareness, accepted, integrated and managed.

The absolute basics:

1’s overdo perfection (which prevents them from feeling perfect)

2’s overdo nurturing (which prevents them from feeling nurtured/loved)

3’s overdo value (which prevents them from feeling valued/valuable)

4’s overdo depth/separateness (which prevents them from feeling deep or separate)

5’s overdo objectivity/specialization/competency (which prevents them from feeling objective/specialized/competent enough)

6’s overdo security (which prevents them from feeling secure)

7’s overdo freedom (which prevents them from feeling free)

8’s overdo power (which prevents them from feeling powerful)

9’s overdo inner peace and harmony (which prevents them from feeling harmony)

Expanded:

1’s believe they have to be correct, perfect, good and pure in order to exist. Therefore the opposite is “not me” which creates a repulsion or fear. And that fear of imperfection causes them to over-focus on imperfections, badness and wrongness in themselves and others (via nitpicking and criticism), which prevents them from ever feeling or being good enough, pure enough, right enough or perfect enough.

2’s believe they have to be nurturing, giving, others-focused and needed by others in order to exist. Therefore the opposite is “not me” which creates a repulsion or fear. Their fear of being unloved, unwanted, unneeded (or seen as neglectful) causes them to overdo nurturing and helping (to the point of meddling and intruding) in order to become indispensable. This causes others to push them away or take advantage of them, and prevents the 2 from feeling truly loved, wanted or needed.

3’s believe they have to be admired, valuable, desirable and even superior in order to exist. Therefore the opposite is “not me” which creates a repulsion or fear. 3’s fear of being worthless or having no value, causes them to overdo value by competing, comparing, manipulating, deceiving, and adapting to others’ ideals. Which inevitably leads them to feeling worthless to themselves.

4’s believe they have to be separate, misunderstood, deep, tragically different and unique in order to exist. Therefore the opposite is “not me” which creates a repulsion or fear. 4’s fear of being shallow, functional, relatable or common causes them to overdo self-sabotage, dissatisfaction, alienation, hostility and backing themselves into a corner, which inevitably causes them to have to settle for an ordinary, shallow, sub-par and one-note existence.

5’s believe they have to be hermetic, withdrawn, monomaniacal, entirely self-sufficient and a tiny head sac autocrat in the mental realm in order to exist. Therefore the opposite is “not me” which creates a repulsion or fear. 5’s fear of being swept away by others irrationalities, needs, and emotions causes them to become overly abstracted, withdrawn, removed, objective competency machines, which results in them becoming impractical, disconnected from reality, incompetent and at the mercy of the hysterical masses and world that they fear.

6’s believe they have to be on the same page with others in their “tribe,” contributing, vigilant and learned in order to exist. 6’s self-doubt and fear of loss of security keeps them outsourcing their inner knowing to external guidance systems and living in a state of anxiety (the fear of fear). This orientation to the grid, external factors and threats is what prevents them from ever feeling truly safe or secure.

7’s believe they have to be dazzled and dazzling, roaming around (mentally or literally), unencumbered and creating momentum in order to exist. 7’s fear of being trapped, stagnant, bored and unsatisfied causes them to constantly flee and seek possibilities, novelty and freedom. But this is what inevitably traps them when they run out of road and options, and it leads to the impossibility of satisfaction or true liberation.

8’s believe they have to be powerful, dominant, expansive and self-protective in order to exist. 8’s fear of being exploited or powerless causes them to exert control and power over others, which inevitably creates hostile situations in which others want to strip them of their power (because they’ve become the monster they fear).

9’s believe they have to be internally peaceful, calm and chill in order to exist. 9’s fear of conflict, loss of connection and disharmony with others (and self) causes them to self-erase and self-abandon. This ultimately causes conflict and loss of harmony because their unspoken needs are not being seen, met, understood or respected.

You'll have a pattern that fits in with the descriptions but you'll also have your own unique flavour of "traps" and beliefs. A dance or combat, or a combination of both, happening between your core and fixes, wings, instincts and lived experiences and beliefs that you were raised with or absorbed as a young person.

You may find that your core type's patterns are tougher to see than your fixes or wings, and that's because it's so ingrained in your psyche and unconscious that it's almost invisible.

Until it's not.

And that's when the aha! moments start happening and you can create mega changes in your life.

Each type's fear stems from the belief that if they are NOT this way, chasing after their personality's passion, unconsciously doing their pattern -- that their very existence is in jeopardy.

Their personality trap - or it's lie - feels like TRUTH. This is the only way to exist through the lens of the ego.

Therefore... the personality trap becomes its own self-fulfilling prophecy if it's not brought into conscious awareness, accepted, integrated and managed.

7w6’s scuttle, dart, flit and operate in an often spasmodic fashion. They’re constantly seeking shortcuts and novel ways of experiencing reality. You’ll know them by the signature trail of chaos they sow. They’re the “too much” or “a lot” friend; sometimes annoying in their fervor, impatient and scattered little imps. Tricksters at heart, they’re naively obscene and often artless in their communication style, grinning while they deliver an insult. But it’s ok, because they’re more interesting than you (by their own assertion). At their best, 7’s are generous and inspiring. While they may throw themselves pity parties, they’ll make sure there’s still spiked punch, Cheetos, a great playlist and sexual (sometimes grotesquely so) innuendo abound.

7w6’s share a core type with 7w8, but the 7w8 is more of a Bulldozer Barbie, Bellicose Bella, a Girl Gone Wild. Where the 7w6 is a chattering chipmunk, the 7w8 is a rhino with fake tits and they give zero fucks that you can see their areola poking out of their too-tight shirt.

7 is a “head type” and with a 6 wing it makes for a double “head type”; a pinball machine that never tires unless you start telling them a long-winded story about your poorly-healthed grandmother or the irksome details of your home renovation. 7’s underdo fear by escaping and avoiding it or anything that harshes their vibe. 7’s are one of the more solipsistic types, however, with a 6 wing (instead of an assertive, confident and grandiose 8 wing) it also has a dose of anxiety, paranoia and hypervigilance. They're aware that they're annoying and that fear isn’t truly escapable. Their 6-ish traits can be exacerbated by walls closing in on them or external forces trying to control or oppress them. Or if they’ve given in to reckless excess they might become terrorized by the consequences catching up to them. They can spiral into worst case scenarios and become reactive and hostile toward anyone who seems like a threat to their freedom, agency or fantasies. However, unlike the 6, 7’s rarely like to view themselves as victims, even when they are. They can apply their "possibilities" orientation to catastrophic thinking and dot-connecting, which can result in excessive catastrophizing, prophetic visions or a volatile combination of both.

As a head type and a “gluttony” type, 7’s love pulling from many different places and sources, obsessively consuming whatever they’re interested in. Even though they have their own ideas about the world, they love learning, and you might find a lot of geeky 7w6’s in the wild. They’ve often taken a multitude of classes and workshops. Their 6 wing can cause them to check in with “the experts”, but they basically just want a direct hookup to the dealer. They want your mental drugs, and they want them now. Of course, they’ll skidaddle when they’ve butt-chugged enough to create their own thing - however half-baked, ill-conceived or premature it may be.

7’s aggressively extract nectar from anything they find intriguing; voraciously suckling on the tit of life like a ravenous piglet. This can manifest via their interests, or whatever libidinous pursuit they might be engaged in. Once they get sick of the flavor, or the tit starts to wither, they move on to find a new one. Or, perhaps they suck so intently and relentlessly that they end up caving in their own skull; and find themselves obese and putrescent, breathless in a pile of excess and excrement.

7 is a "frustration" type; nothing is ever quite right. They get horny off idealizing what could be, and wilt under what is. The grass is always greener on the other side. FOMO is their middle name. Their thirst for what could be is often a propulsive force, and can be the only thing that motivates them when life is mundane. They get what they want, but it doesn’t satisfy them for long. In the back of their mind, their escape plan begins unfolding, schemes begin hatching and selfish rationalizations appear as if delivered by the divine hand of God. At their worst, the 7 can enter a state of deranged, ideopraxist mania and set themselves aflame. A juggler with so many balls, they will inevitably drop all of them and be left looking like a fool. Lather, rinse, repeat, and any hope the 7 had of finding stability or sustainable gratification goes down the drain along with the pubic hair and cheap body wash of a life they’ve constructed out of endless dissatisfaction.

7 is an "assertive" type. This can make them entitled and brazen about what they want. Their motto is “Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more…” *Britney hair flip* But because of the wing 6, 7w6’s can be aware of what they “should” do or what society expects from them (especially if a Social type) and it can keep their brattiest impulses vaguely more reigned in than a 7w8 (who is double assertive). They might go for what they want, but feel bad or belatedly apologize if it has ramifications. They might also experience paralyzing apprehension, self-doubt and overwhelm when their own incompetence (or fear of it) catches up with them. However, at the end of the day, the 7w6 will end up doing what the 7w6 wants to do, which is a big distinction between 7w6 and 6w7. The 7w6 might see the “should” in front of them on the pavement, and may stare at it a while, but ultimately the 7 will squish it under their neon yellow high-top and skip away.

7 is a “positive” type, which mostly means they reframe negatives into positives. They experience “magical thinking”, especially with a 9 fix in the mix. They attempt to avoid boredom, pain, annoyance, and negativity on autopilot. It doesn’t mean that they won’t be negative or experience sorrow, as a 7w6 they have a reactive “negative” wing (doubly so, if they have a 4 and/or 8 fix). They can dwell, sob, be too depressed to peel themselves off their fluid-stained bed sheets. However, they might not really be here for *your* negativity. They’ll likely want to reframe or resolve your problem and move on with their day, instead of handing you tissue after tissue while you tell them your sob story for the thousandth time. They want to rip the Band-Aid off and find the silver lining, yesterday. A 7 who has worked on themselves and is conscious of their patterns is better at holding space for others, but sure enough the frustrated feeling of being held hostage will creep upon them, and you will notice their spirit leave the room as you continue to ramble on and on about your dire situation that you’ve already told them A DOZEN FUCKING TIMES BEFORE and they have already repeatedly told you how to fix… GOOD GOD, IF YOU EXPECT ME TO LISTEN TO THIS NOTHING-SAUCE THEN PAY ME, YOU DAFFY BITCH!!!… Moving on.

As an assertive-“positive” type, they offer solutions, which may not seem realistic or viable to some. The 7 believes that anything is surmountable, given their blessed “magical thinking” abilities. If you can’t get with their visionary suggestions, you’ll likely morph into their hapless, weepy acquaintance that they put on the shelf next to the discarded, moldy books they discovered on the side of the road when they were drunk, and the drab religious figurines their aunt gives them each Christmas. You’ll collect dust only to be brought out to play with when they’ve exhausted other options.

This “positive” thinking ability also means that if something really fucked up happens to them, they’ll usually recover. Even if they hole up for a while to lick their wounds, or spiral into their 6 wing, they’ll eventually find the benefit of the tragedy. You fucked their boyfriend, but you’re also their mom? That’s ok, they’ll turn it into their Jerry Springer debut, and they’ll look hotter than you on television. You banned them from a social group? They’ll create their own group and it will be even funner and more interesting than yours. Or, if they’re more evolved, they’ll just move on as if you never existed. You cannot defeat a 7, because they’ll find a way to bend reality to make anything work for them. The only person who can defeat a 7 is themselves.

Because 7w6’s are a double head type with a line to another head type (5), they can often feel like they don’t know enough. In fact, they can feel spectacularly stupid. A core 6 will make sure they understand the rules, know what the experts think, what the group thinks (or the group they simp) as a way to fend off the worries of being a dumbass. A 5 will become a quietly arrogant expert as the “competency” head type, and over-learn into total abstraction. When a 7 feels a bit ‘tarded, it can fuel their internal gluttony and they might immediately move into “doing” something about it, without thinking it through. They might buy a ton of books (and not read them), or sign up for a bunch of classes (but not show up for half of them). It can also cause them to retreat into their line to 5 (obsessively studying) or access their 6 wing (seeking out expert opinions), or just flee the experience entirely by brushing it off with a joke, or switching lanes to chase another pursuit or distraction. YOLO.

7’s can unravel into unhealthy levels when they feel suffocated, trapped, stifled or as if their prospects have been cut off. This can happen when there are too many responsibilities being piled on them, or when they feel as if under perpetual house arrest because of their circumstances (the wife, kids, job, weather, too many obligations, inadequate options in their dominant instinct). They’re not usually nine-to-five, rise’n’grind types and the workforce tedium can bring out the self-destructive urge to escape existence via drugs, booze, sex, distractions and stirring up chaos. 7’s, especially with an additional frustration fix (1 or 4), can devolve into a state of despair and decadence by being forced to be part of the proletariat. They might abscond responsibilities or lash out at people for taking up their time or energy; becoming almost hysterical about their boundaries and me-time.

7’s are also often the “party animal” or flamboyant type; flitting from scene to scene, rarely establishing anything truly meaningful outside of a select few connections. If you wound or disappoint them they might lob you off, as they have many other tantalizing social options to choose from. They have a live and let live attitude, and usually don't care all that much if people disagree with their opinions or beliefs, unlike the core 6. Often 7’s gravitate toward other 7’s or 7-fixers, as there’s a shared understanding that they can maintain the friendship without constantly checking in or seeing each other every week, which can be difficult for other types to fathom.

Known as a “selfish type” 7’s can be seen as narcissistic, especially from the view of a superego (1, 2, 6) or attachment (3, 6, 9) type, because they’re living life on their own terms and not abiding by the Matrix commandments or limiting beliefs. Life is to be enjoyed, experienced, ravaged, fucked from behind. Rules are for losers. 7’s aren’t limited by your mortal belief systems and structures, *insert evil laugh.* The 7 doesn’t care what you do, so long as you don’t get in the way of what they’re doing or want. If you get in the way of a 7’s passion or enjoyment, watch out.

7’s, maybe more than any other type, enjoy playing pranks and messing with people. Depending on their wing, instinctual stacking and fixes, you’ll find yourself with a devious pixie who likes to stir things up for their own amusement, a chaotic neutral character, or a gleeful demon who exacts revenge in the most amoral of ways. They like having a stockpile of wild stories to whip out like a party trick, self-indulgently musing at their collection of peccadillos and antics.

Because 7 has a line to 5 (the other head type), it makes the 7w6 one of the most “heady” of the types. Having a “line” to another type means it has access to aspects or behaviors of that type as a means to evolve or devolve. When 7 goes “line to 5” they can burrow into an interest and withdraw in order to feed their head. It can make them more introspective, focused on absorbing and fully comprehending details, refining, synthesizing and whittling versus their usual expansive, superficial gathering of information approach. It can also make them go into hermit-mode, becoming unusually abstemious, avoiding people and evading responsibilities in service of whatever their interest is because life “out there” just isn’t doing it for them. They’ll avoid the soirees and meet-ups because they’re disappointed and would rather get their juice from books or Reddit, or create something all night in their bedroom. When healthy, a 7 can apply all of this to mastering a skill or seeing through the actualization phase of an obsession. However, 7’s may go 5 mode when they’ve exhausted themselves escaping, running and devouring. They have nothing left to give or take, and they must finally rest. This can be a terrifying experience to the 7 if they have unprocessed trauma, upsetting emotions or life things they’ve been avoiding. The enormity of it can crash down on the 7, hurtling them into horror and overwhelm. This experience can make them depressed, distressed, double-down on escapist behaviors, or God willing, they introspect and look for healthy ways to integrate and process.

When 7’s access their line to 1 (a frustration-competency type) when unhealthy, they can transform into unholy terrors, imperious and cavalier. They mutate from being easy going to perfectionistic and hyper-critical of themselves and others. Especially with a wing 6 and a line to 1, the 7 can be uncharacteristically Kareny. They can become controlling of others in their life and preachy about how to live when their circumstances are not mirroring the reality they desire: one that feels elastic, lively and fascinating. They might cut people from their lives for not living up to their standards (as wavy-gravy or new those standards may be), or clean up the mess in their lives by abstaining from alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling or whatever else they typically overdo.

When they are accessing both of their competency lines, and actualizing their interests, hobbies or theories instead of just shouting their latest madcap ideas at strangers, they can go into a hyper-disciplined state. This can cause them to proceed in an austere and controlled manner; cutting away the fat in their life (people, other interests, obligations) in order to bring their vision into reality. Their relationships, belongings or multitude of interests may begin to feel like prison bars, and they’ll have to go. Because it’s difficult to balance repressed hedonistic impulses with responsibility, eventually the 7 will wear themselves out in this mode. The sensation of being stifled ferments, and they may succumb to the urge to abandon this new lifestyle, in favor of reinventing themselves or discovering unfamiliar, delicious vittles. Of course, the idea is that we use our lines to integrate and balance ourselves, but for the 7 it may take many tangos before they find a rhythm they can dance to. If they find a renewable source of energy in one direction, balance fun with consistency, they can harness their demiurgical life force and make grand things materialize.

A main life pattern with 7’s is that they’re always trying to outrun the Devil. If they don’t face whatever it is they’re running from, the ubiquitous monster at their heels will become bigger and faster as the 7 gets slower and weaker. Often, The Universe will throw a monkey wrench in their bike spokes to force them to stop and reflect, as injury and ruin is often the only way to force a 7 to look inward and emotionally heal. If they refuse, and keep pushing and squirming and escaping, it will become increasingly difficult as they get older to overcome these patterns. They’ll run out of road, options and ways out.

The film “Red Rocket” (2021) by Sean Baker is a great example of this life path. “The Little Mermaid” (1989) is also a good example of the “grass is greener” mentality of the idealistic 7w6 who goes through Hell to get what they desire, only to find out it’s nothing like what they dreamed; it didn’t solve all of their problems and now they’re totally fucked.

7’s can seem horrifically impetuous and self-absorbed to other types. However, because their type structure is centered around possibilities, expansiveness, movement and lack of rules or restrictions, they also make for great cheerleaders. If you have a big dream, you’re better off floating it to your 7 buddy who will join you in the fantasy, cheer you on, make you believe in the power of you, and spitball solutions. When they’re happy and have the means, they’re also keenly generous with their resources, time and energy. When they have slowed down and genuinely allowed for gratitude and internal abundance, and allow themselves to experience discomfort, they can unlock true joy and satisfaction. Maybe more than any other type, they’re the ones most likely to want to see you thrive, without a hidden agenda. They love it when you follow your outlandish passion and dream the undreamable. Fuck the rules, Cindy! You are a rockstar!!!! Fuck the haters, Gary! Eat as many goddamn hotdogs as you want, Marsha! Yassss Queen! When 7’s put their powers of provocation to good use, they can inspire others, catalyze massive change in their loved ones, and lift the world with them on their seemingly nonsensical quest. They crack open the door to what is possible for all, and give permission to other types to unabashedly follow their aspirations and unconditionally love themselves, warts and all.

Social-Dominant 7w6’s often like to build social groups around their interests, and as they can have multiple interests, they can have multiple groups to flit between. Each group can serve its own purpose (“these are the friends I talk about Enneagram with, these are the friends I party with, these are my horror movie friends”, etc). They can seem like social butterflies - noncommittal, selfish and scattered. They can be aware of the social impact they might have, if only they narrow or combine what captures their attention into something cohesive and meaningful. What really juices them up is being able to find their special groups where they can push into, learn and expand on ideas, concepts, experiences, interests and build something exhilarating together. If they’re not getting that from you, you might not have a place at the table for too long. They’ll encourage you on your own quest, though, as they usher you out the door.

Self-Preservation-Dominant 7w6’s are less focused on curating their social circles around their activities but will still want things to be engaging. This might manifest in a strange assortment of pets, physical pursuits or objects, eating or creating weird food, doing bizarre things with their body or aesthetic. They might be the most responsible of the three instincts, and the most able to actualize their efforts in the physical world. However, Self-Preservation 7’s can indulge in overspending, buying useless shit, eating out or travelling alot, partying nonstop, fucking nonstop, daredevil activities and sometimes pushing the limits physically because what even is reality? What even is this body? More, more, more! Adreeennnaaaaaaaalliiiiinnnnnnnnne!!!!

Sexual-Dominant 7w6’s want fleeting, intense, devouring, pleasurable experiences - and if you don’t profusely sparkle or pique their interest, move along. They can also attract a lot of attention in their presentation - through dress, adornments and displays. They’ll draw people in like a mystical belly-dancer, mesmerizing their audience - but as soon as they lose interest, bye, bye! They’re perhaps the most hedonistic and provocative of the three instincts, and unless you’re able to continuously feed them juice and captivation, you’ll be left with nothing but the memories of the Sexual 7 to arouse and torment you forever. What never could have been… *sigh.*

Examples of 7w6’s: Joe Rogan, Tim Dillon, Theo Von, Parker Posey, Florence Welch, Danny Elfman, Sia, RuPaul, Miley Cyrus

7: Frustration, Positive, Assertive, Head

6: Attachment, Reactive, Superego, Head

Line to 5: Rejection, Competency, Withdrawn, Head

Line to 1: Frustration, Competency, Superego, Gut

Frustration is a universal human experience, but it’s also a personality’s ego fixation in the enneagram system relating to “object relations” which is how we interact with the world around us is supposed to relate to our parental dynamics and wounds. It’s the over-fixation on the ideal - what could be and what isn’t. What’s desired and what’s missing. And frustration types (1, 4, 7) can go hard in one direction and then hard in the other direction. They can become fixated on what’s wrong, what’s missing, the disappointment, the lament of what was and no longer is, what could be altered, beautified, made more interesting, more personal, more perfect.

Frustration is essentially being in a constant state of WITHOUT instead of WITH. There is always something not quite right. Something annoying. Out of kilter. Not me enough. Not perfect. Not interesting. Boring. Common. Shallow. Disgusting. The pursuit of experiencing satisfaction is what they’re doing, not achieving satisfaction itself. And once they do achieve satisfaction, it’s often short-lived or disappointing. And the cycle repeats itself. And they may even edge, if they start feeling close to that one moment (getting what they want) - knowing it won’t live up to the ideal, or not wanting the fantasy to end.

This can show up as a grandiose fantasies of their version of the ideal - whether that’s in themselves - and their self-concept and what’s possible for them, in their art, in their partner, children, friends, business, the entire world, their house, their clothing and adornments, the weather, their bodies, the sex, the juice, the energy. Frustration makes itself home in enneagram type 1’s, 4’s and 7’s. It also shows up as an influence when you have a wing which is 1, 4, 7 or a fix. And the frustration is amplified when you have it 2 or 3 of your centers. 

The kicker about frustration and all of the types is that you are creating the pattern that fucks you over (your personality trap). Your vibe attracts your tribe. Meaning if you are constantly frustrated, you will attract people, situations, issues that amplify and feed that belief and energy.

What’s positive about frustration types is that because they are so obsessively trying to capture, create, chase the ideal they can funnel that obsessive, unsettled energy into creating change in the world, the arts, innovation, social structures/culture, etc. Their dissatisfaction becomes a catalyst for change, although it may cause personal ruin the process.

Prefer to watch it instead of read it? 👇 (A lot more sidenotes in the video, because I go off-script auto-reflexively.)

ENNEAGRAM ONE

Enneagram 1's are frustrated in the gut center, giving them a God complex. They seek to exist in a way that is right, perfect and unadulterated by whatever their internal compass tells them is corrupt, bad, dirty and wrong. So this frustration is seen and felt primarily in the torso, the body. That’s why 1’s are often rigid looking, they look like they’ve got knuckle-crushing buttholes and are in a perpetual state of disapproval. They’re constantly churning the need to perfect, do, whittle, clean, wipe, purify, burn, pick at and that oozes out of their very being. They have incredibly high standards which can be centered around efficiency, competency, what’s right, pure, perfect, good, clean aesthetic, properness, manners, etc.

Their frustration object is something they need to FIX, perfect, eradicate, correct. They’re fixating this energy inwards, at themselves as well as outwards. They’re often seen as critical towards others, especially if they have a 6 fix and social instinct, but that’s just their baseline. That’s the world they live in.

They are already doing this to themselves and they project it onto whatever shows up around them, likely fixated more in their dominant instinct. SO this can be their partner or sexual fixation, their loved ones, coworkers, the outer world, their environment, home, art, craft, job. And when after many times trying to clean up the mess if they cannot fix the person, situation, environment they may feel the urge to replace it with a new frustration object or a new fixation. Although you may never be able to fully move on from the frustration object if it still exists.

ENNEAGRAM FOUR

Enneagram 4’s are frustrated in the heart center. Meaning the image they are projecting from inside of themselves is constantly at odds with the world around it. They’re out of congruence with their environment, people, etc, and it cannot be fixed. They don’t know how to exist in such a shallow, disgusting, empty reality. They’re both frustrated by it and fed by it. If they get what they want, they’ll find a way to ruin it because getting it might signal to the ego that they are now part of superficial, shiny reality. This is not to be confused with 6 head griping which is more associated with outsourcing their power or being angry at some kind of authority figure or system. 4’s are positively identified with “negativity.” Being different in a way that is not relatable or accessible can seem from the outside as someone who won’t play ball, is moody, hateful, an asshole.

But they’re also deep poets and lone wolves - or like to tell themselves they are. Separate. Superior and inferior. Tragic and fascinating. According to them they don’t suffer like a 6 or a 9, their concerns are not relatable and you wouldn’t understand. They’re not inviting you to understand either. That’s attachment territory. If you did get a whiff of understanding, it would mean that “thing” was now cheap, common, not good enough for the 4 to ruminate and fixate and chew on and will be either discarded or further personalized and transformed to feel like it’s more personal and specific to them. It’s not special when it’s everyone else’s thing. Ptooey. And again, this is not to be confused with the 6 urge to be an emo shit-poster edgelord with eyeliner and black hair. That’s not different. That’s a subculture. 

This frustrated, separated self-concept oozes dramatically and broodingly out of their countenance, their faces, their visages, the window to their soul. They are the unwilling cover model who wants you to know they don’t like posing but also wants you to see how deep they are. And have no comment on it.

4’s are first and foremost their own primary frustration object, unconsciously deepening their experience of themselves, and creating a continuous narrative around how deep, profound, separate, and beautifully broken they are. They’re unreachable unless they grant you the key, and that key is likely conditional and not permanent. This can be flavoured by their fixes - with 6 there is an amplification of self-loathing and the inescapability of the horror of self, with 1 there is an amplification of snootiness and disgust, with 7 there is an amplification of melodrama and self-fixation, swinging between self-loathing and self-aggrandizing, 4 with 5 is more prone to reactive nihilism (not to be confused with 9’s apathy and numbing), etc.

But this frustration will also show up in relationships, objects, art, their environment that they seek to make more deep, meaningful, mysterious, and personal to their specific tastes and internal narratives of who they are. It will be more noticeable in their dominant instinct - whether that’s social, sexual or self-pres. And yes, that can mean trying to impose this frustration narrative onto someone they’re in a relationship with to personalize them to their own desires.  Unconsciously trying to push them into being (or gaslight themselves into thinking they’re) more deep, unique or interesting than they actually are, or that their connection is somehow special and beyond the realm of mere mortals. And when something feels less than special or won’t reach that ideal, it can become devalued in the 4’s eyes.

ENNEAGRAM SEVEN

7’s are frustrated in the head center. Meaning they want to be tantalized, obsessed, excited, turned on, lit up, distracted from the mundane, aroused by whatever their frustration objects are. And because there are likely to be many they can become spread across many frustration delights, never experiencing true satisfaction which also leads to them not finishing projects, not committing to anything, always having a plan B, C, D… They might be simultaneously existing in multiple realities hedging their bets for the most satisfying and ideal option - however because they do this, they never get satisfaction. 

Type 7’s frustration objects will be something they want - a possibility - something they feel that they NEED - to taste, experience, milk, lose themselves in. Something shiny. New. Intriguing. Sexy. Hot. Novel. Never conquered. Never tasted. 7’s can enter a total state of fantastical mania when they’re stressed out with reality or bored as fuck with their life, creating alternate realities to exist in, that expand these fantasies they have for their life, themselves, their relationships, their art… it’s all about possibilities.

Ideas, creations, booze or drugs, people, their partner, experiences, partying, places, food, interests, hobbies. Once this thing dries of its juicy nectar, the 7 is likely to lose interest and find another sparkly object. Although they may remain with one pinky toe still in it, in case that nectar returns or it becomes exciting to them again by some other means. They try and create this feeling of juiciness around them as they can grow bored easily in stagnant, repetitive and dull environments. 

They can get bored with situations, commitments, people, relationships, jobs, projects very easily as soon as they start to slip into the inevitable frustration pattern backslide. Disappointment. Time-sucking. Feeling like an obligation. Not being fun anymore. Not being interesting anymore. And this can show up when shit gets real - your partner is depressed or unwell, you’re having to work more hours at the job, the dream art career wasn’t as exciting and razzle dazzle. 7’s can focus when they really want something but it can be horrendously taxing to remain invested in something that no longer feels juicy.

WHAT TO DO WITH IT?

• The antidote to frustration is gratitude for what is and not for what could be.

• Presence without conditions (just ALLOWING the situation/person to be as it is).

• Realizing that you’re not SETTLING by just being content. You’re not giving up, or becoming part of the mundane reality that you despise. You’re simply allowing yourself grace, some level of comfort, peace, abundance, joy, appreciation. Which is the energy in which you can actually align yourself to what you desire on a soul level. And you can begin to create that from the inside, which will inevitably, and easily create it for you on the outside. 

• Watch the video linked above to go through a short exercise.

More on Enneagram 7 (and personal experiences with “frustration)….

These wings create our “shadow” - an aspect of ourselves that we have access to but either reject, abhor or envy in others - because we don’t really see or acknowledge those traits, motivations or behaviors in ourselves.

🤡 The irony is, you do have access to those behaviors, they’re just in your shadow. In the abyss with the other discarded parts of self. The things you were told were “bad” as a kid, or things your type’s ego says is “not me.” Maybe it feels dangerous. Threatening. Or even a bit seggsy.

Example: If you’re a type 9 with an 8 wing, you might see other people doing 8-ish behaviors - like being assertive, taking up a lot of space, streamrolling, doing whatever they want - and it might trigger you, annoy you, or you might wish to be more like that and therefore it creates a kind of envy.

The combination of your wings (creates your ‘shadow type’). You can think of your wing as your ‘shadow’ (if you don’t have a full tritype/trifix) or the combination of the wings on your tritype/trifix as your shadow type.

If you get typed as a 9w1 6w7 3w4, then your main tritype/trifix is 963 and your ‘shadow type’ is 174 (making you an extra frustrated, picky and aesthetic adaptation type).

🧚‍♀️ Want to get typed by me and find out your full typing (including Shadow type)? 👉 Book a live call or introvert recording with me now.

Learn more about my shadow theory on youtube.